Every year, my friend David Wayne Reed throws a wassail party at his midtown apartment. Over this past holiday weekend, I went and drank my share of the delicious (and lethal) punch. I also spotted some great outfits, like Kyle's festive green jacket and Gina's beautiful maroon dress and shoes.

Last Wednesday, I stopped in at Tea Drops for a short afternoon break. As usual, I was on the lookout for cool outfits, and Josh's and Eve's clothes drew my eye. I love the bright burst of color among all the neutral shades. And I'm a huge fan of Eve's red lipstick, which looks great with her beautiful complexion. That's inspiring me to switch from my wine-colored lipstick to red for the new year.

A couple of weeks ago, I was merrily partaking in some drinks at my work holiday party when I spotted Harris Green. Harris is a member of Phaze II, the band that played at the party. I liked the silvery pinstripes on his suit, as well as the vest he wore with it.

1. The unironic holiday sweater.

What else is there to say? Happy Holidays from your Clothes Whores! -- Jen Chen and Nadia Pflaum

2. Uggs!

I have friends who are going to be pissed about this, but Uggs are style Kryptonite. They're created in Australia, probably in their last penal colony, and I dare anyone to find me a real Australian who will wear them. I'm not on some high horse -- people in my home state are the single-biggest purchasers of Crocs in the country, which is embarrassing -- but Uggs make your feet look like this:


So if they're the most comfortable shoes in the world, fine. I'm not the only one who thinks they're hideous.

-- Nadia Pflaum

Luke teaches kids' classes at the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. He also thinks he has a superior sense of style, so he's been stalking me about putting his picture on this blog. I told him he'd have to knock my socks off with his getup, and this is what he came up with. The yellow sweater is from a Goodwill in Festus, Missouri, and the vertigo-inducing tie is from a Salvation Army in KC. He doesn't want to reveal the location of the SA for fear that someone will discover his loud-ass tie stash.

The hat he found at Target, where Luke shops for stuff you don't really want to buy at a thrift store, like underwear, socks and hats. "That's pushing the funk," he says.

The goggles (which are perched on top of his head) are the cherry on top of this style sundae, according to Luke. "The greatest thing is that they're from Prague. From a little shop in a train station. They're Russian, circa World War II. Maybe earlier -- I haven't translated the Russian stuff that came with them yet," Luke says.

An artist who often gets paint on himself, Luke admits he didn't always put so much thought into his clothes. But working a day job does wonders. "I"ve been putting more effort into it these days since I've been teaching," Luke explains. "When I'm at the museum I try to, I don't know, be an adult?"

Hear, hear, and Merry Christmas Eve, Luke! Don't scare the kids at the Nelson too much. -- Nadia Pflaum

3. Orange tans.

I'm tempted to think maybe someone fooled with the color of this picture of Kelly Ripa (and it wasn't me). I maintain that Jen Chen coined the phrase tanorexic many Night Ranger columns ago, and like most awesome things, it spread like wildfire something really extra awesome.

Try not to leave the house looking like one of these:

If I told you that Nicole used whiskey to help her design dresses, is this what you'd imagine?
This dress is made out of 100 percent blue velvet Crown Royal bags. I didn't ask how many bags were involved, but the fact that Nicole is a bartender at Gilhouly's on 39th Street helped in her collection efforts. Check out the back:

Get this: there are even leg warmers involved:
Nicole is a fiber and textiles major in her senior year at the Kansas City Art Institute, which is good, because if this weren't her passion, it ought to be.

Extra thanks to Dino, the gent at the bar who took these pictures of Nicole for me because I'd stupidly left my camera at home. Clothes Whores Law: when you forget your camera, you run into stuff that only a photo can truly convey. Like a dress made out of Crown Royal bags. -- Nadia Pflaum

4. Forgotten pants! (Pantsheimers? Pantsmentia? Pantsmesia? Dang.)

Leggings took the place of pants on many unfortunate occasions in 2008, although not in Ms. Lohan's case, above. Maybe she felt a draft, because she went on to create her own line of leggings later in the year which sold like crazy, aided by her public appearances wearing them with girlfriend Samantha Ronson and, and...I can't believe I know all of this. I don't want these things in my head. Fuck you, TMZ. Seriously.
-- Nadia Pflaum

Rachel helped us get a handle on the recent popularity of child molester glasses. "I think everyone gets 'em because they're androgynous and that seems to be really in style now," she says. "I always pick out the biggest, ugliest ones." She got these at America's Best Contacts and Glasses on clearance.

Rachel shops at places like Majr Thrift, but her guilty pleasure is American Apparel. "Their t-shirts fit well. The 'v' in the v-neck is low, which makes my boobs look good."
Thanks, Dov Charney!

-- Nadia Pflaum

5. Too-tight outfits!

It's just like the song says...if it don't fit, don't force it. -- Nadia Pflaum

Let a girl take her coat off, won't ya? No. I won't. I accosted Sailor as soon as she walked into the Record Bar in a coat I think I wore in 4th grade, and what my co-worker Chris Packham affectionately refers to as "child molester glasses." That's okay, I thought she looked...special.

Sailor gets lots of her clothes at thrift stores. Lately she's been looking for "anything that looks Southwestern or Indian-ish." Also, "I like what I like."

I asked her where she found her glasses. She says she got 'em at LensCrafters and she went so far as to put a prescription in them. She'd been on a hunt for clear frames. Which reminds me of a little story I'd like to over-share with you (cue the Wayne's-World-flashback squiggly lines and "Doodly doop, doodly doop, doodly doop"):

When I was in elementary school, I had lazy eye, so I needed a patch on my right eye to correct the left one. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also needed glasses for the "good" eye. So my mother took me to the store and let me pick out my own frames. Bad idea. I chose the most geriatric pair a 6-year-old could possibly find. The frames were octagonal and clear brown, and the ear stems bent down in little brackets before looping back up behind my ears, begging the question, "Are you wearing your glasses upside-down?" from every merciless kid in my class.

Hipsters would LOVE those glasses today. -- Nadia Pflaum

6. Mandals! (photo via Nothing to do With Arbroath)

And they should never be worn with jorts (photo via Georgia Sports Blog)

-- Jen Chen

Here's Mitch, lead singer of the Rich Boys (on the right) standing next to infamous cab driver to the (local) stars, Mark da Shark. Ignore Mitch's weensy mustache real quick and tell me -- either I'm on crack or Mitch kind of resembles Heath Ledger? Just a tiny bit?

Anywayz, he describes his personal style as "tight." Not as in, "Damn, that shit's tight!" (pronounced toit) but as in tight-fitting. He's been wearing his clothes tight since high school, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by 18-year-old bullies. "A lot of people thought I was gay," Mitch admits. "But I skateboarded for a long time and drove that fashion really hard."

But didn't skateboarders wear super loose clothes back in the high school days? "They did, but it totally flip-flopped in 2000," Mitch says. "They wanted to look more bad boy." Sleeker makes more sense when you're going for speed, come to think of it. I'm sure many a '90's-era skateboarder ate asphalt after an attempted kick-flip in Jncos.

Mitch says skateboard style is a "fast moving trend. American Apparel and Urban Outfitters took it off skateboarding, but I saw it way before it was popular." Right. And now I can say the same thing for the Rich Boys one day. — Nadia Pflaum

7. An avalanche of accessories

No to multiple jangly bracelets and large rings all worn on one hand. And a big no to sweatbands.

And no to fuzzy hats, soul patches and guy jewelry. For a great assessment of Mystery's look, check out The Anti DC, which calls him the Hamburglar. Ha! -- Jen Chen

Steven and Anastasia are into "magick," and insist that I spell it that way. They've been together since a full moon in July. They came to the Record Bar to see the Ssion -- they were introduced through the band's keyboardist.
"I got ready in the car," Anastasia says, which is truly a feat, considering how tough it is to get into ripped stockings:
"She was pulling things out and I'd say yes or no," says Steven. They say their style is inspired by "synchronicity and metaphysics." I'm not positive what that means, but Anastasia's vial of perfume oil hanging from a cord around her neck and tucked snugly into her cleavage might have something to do with it. She also wore a rad fox ring: — Nadia Pflaum

8. Nipple slips (photo via The Superficial)

Again: There are these things called bras. And if you're wearing something where a nipple slip is possible, your top is too big. I'm just sayin'. -- Jen Chen

I was sitting alone at the bar drinking Jim Beam on ice when this dude walked up and asked, "What's your color?" I thought maybe he was asking my drink preference, so I said, "Brown." He replied, "Amber," nodded knowingly, and walked off.

He returned with an orange glowstick bracelet, which he fastened around my right wrist. "They call me Glowstick Guy," he said. His real name is Bill McDonald. He's a Vietnam Vet who doesn't like sitting at home in front of the TV. "I'm trying to think of a way to describe my situation but I don't know it. I just don't like to sit home and do nothing. There's a whole world out there," he told me.

So he likes to go out to venues like Davy's Uptown and the Record Bar to see artists like Kasey Rausch and the Last Call Girls. Handing out glowsticks is, apparently, his icebreaker.

It's also a good excuse to talk to younger women, a fact that I'm sure he's aware of, because he kept mentioning that he doesn't have any ulterior motives for "lighting people up," as he puts it. "There's so many bad things going on in the world. I like to go out and do random acts of kindness."

I asked him how much his barrel of 100 glowsticks cost. "That would destroy my whole persona here," he said.

By the time he left, I was pretty lit: — Nadia Pflaum

9. Visible thong above waistline (aka whale tail). Or, better yet, when it's visible above a guy's waistband (via The Soup)

-- Jen Chen

I really love Traci's black cape with the leopard fur trim. She paired it with black pants and red lipstick, and as a result, she looks beautiful and elegant.