Clothes Whores

Kyle O'Connor and Gina Serrano at David Wayne Reed's wassail party

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 06:00:54 -0600

Every year, my friend David Wayne Reed throws a wassail party at his midtown apartment. Over this past holiday weekend, I went and drank my share of the delicious (and lethal) punch. I also spotted some great outfits, like Kyle's festive green jacket and Gina's beautiful maroon dress and shoes.

Josh Moutray and Eve Englezos at Tea Drops

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 06:00:16 -0600

Last Wednesday, I stopped in at Tea Drops for a short afternoon break. As usual, I was on the lookout for cool outfits, and Josh's and Eve's clothes drew my eye. I love the bright burst of color among all the neutral shades. And I'm a huge fan of Eve's red lipstick, which looks great with her beautiful complexion. That's inspiring me to switch from my wine-colored lipstick to red for the new year.

Harris Green at Crosstown Station

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 06:00:32 -0600

A couple of weeks ago, I was merrily partaking in some drinks at my work holiday party when I spotted Harris Green. Harris is a member of Phaze II, the band that played at the party. I liked the silvery pinstripes on his suit, as well as the vest he wore with it.

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 1!

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 15:00:02 -0600

1. The unironic holiday sweater.

What else is there to say? Happy Holidays from your Clothes Whores! -- Jen Chen and Nadia Pflaum

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 2

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:00:50 -0600

2. Uggs!

I have friends who are going to be pissed about this, but Uggs are style Kryptonite. They're created in Australia, probably in their last penal colony, and I dare anyone to find me a real Australian who will wear them. I'm not on some high horse -- people in my home state are the single-biggest purchasers of Crocs in the country, which is embarrassing -- but Uggs make your feet look like this:

So if they're the most comfortable shoes in the world, fine. I'm not the only one who thinks they're hideous.

-- Nadia Pflaum

Luke on 39th Street

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 06:51:00 -0600

Luke teaches kids' classes at the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art. He also thinks he has a superior sense of style, so he's been stalking me about putting his picture on this blog. I told him he'd have to knock my socks off with his getup, and this is what he came up with. The yellow sweater is from a Goodwill in Festus, Missouri, and the vertigo-inducing tie is from a Salvation Army in KC. He doesn't want to reveal the location of the SA for fear that someone will discover his loud-ass tie stash.

The hat he found at Target, where Luke shops for stuff you don't really want to buy at a thrift store, like underwear, socks and hats. "That's pushing the funk," he says.

The goggles (which are perched on top of his head) are the cherry on top of this style sundae, according to Luke. "The greatest thing is that they're from Prague. From a little shop in a train station. They're Russian, circa World War II. Maybe earlier -- I haven't translated the Russian stuff that came with them yet," Luke says.

An artist who often gets paint on himself, Luke admits he didn't always put so much thought into his clothes. But working a day job does wonders. "I"ve been putting more effort into it these days since I've been teaching," Luke explains. "When I'm at the museum I try to, I don't know, be an adult?"

Hear, hear, and Merry Christmas Eve, Luke! Don't scare the kids at the Nelson too much. -- Nadia Pflaum

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 3

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:00:02 -0600

3. Orange tans.

I'm tempted to think maybe someone fooled with the color of this picture of Kelly Ripa (and it wasn't me). I maintain that Jen Chen coined the phrase tanorexic many Night Ranger columns ago, and like most awesome things, it spread like ~~wildfire~~ something really extra awesome.

Try not to leave the house looking like one of these:

Nicole's Crown Royal bag dress

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:13:38 -0600

If I told you that Nicole used whiskey to help her design dresses, is this what you'd imagine?
This dress is made out of 100 percent blue velvet Crown Royal bags. I didn't ask how many bags were involved, but the fact that Nicole is a bartender at Gilhouly's on 39th Street helped in her collection efforts. Check out the back:

I love how she used the gold thread to lace up the back. She also sewed a little piece of purple tulle behind each petal of velvet to give it that extra floof.

Get this: there are even leg warmers involved:
Nicole is a fiber and textiles major in her senior year at the Kansas City Art Institute, which is good, because if this weren't her passion, it ought to be.

Extra thanks to Dino, the gent at the bar who took these pictures of Nicole for me because I'd stupidly left my camera at home. Clothes Whores Law: when you forget your camera, you run into stuff that only a photo can truly convey. Like a dress made out of Crown Royal bags. -- Nadia Pflaum

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 4

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:00:47 -0600

4. Forgotten pants! (Pantsheimers? Pantsmentia? Pantsmesia? Dang.)

Leggings took the place of pants on many unfortunate occasions in 2008, although not in Ms. Lohan's case, above. Maybe she felt a draft, because she went on to create her own line of leggings later in the year which sold like crazy, aided by her public appearances wearing them with girlfriend Samantha Ronson and, and...I can't believe I know all of this. I don't want these things in my head. Fuck you, TMZ. Seriously.
-- Nadia Pflaum

Rachel at the Record Bar

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 06:01:49 -0600

Rachel helped us get a handle on the recent popularity of child molester glasses. "I think everyone gets 'em because they're androgynous and that seems to be really in style now," she says. "I always pick out the biggest, ugliest ones." She got these at America's Best Contacts and Glasses on clearance.

Rachel shops at places like Majr Thrift, but her guilty pleasure is American Apparel. "Their t-shirts fit well. The 'v' in the v-neck is low, which makes my boobs look good."
Thanks, Dov Charney!

-- Nadia Pflaum

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 5

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:00:25 -0600

5. Too-tight outfits!

It's just like the song says...if it don't fit, don't force it. -- Nadia Pflaum

Sailor at the Record Bar

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 05:55:48 -0600

Let a girl take her coat off, won't ya? No. I won't. I accosted Sailor as soon as she walked into the Record Bar in a coat I think I wore in 4th grade, and what my co-worker Chris Packham affectionately refers to as "child molester glasses." That's okay, I thought she looked...special.

Sailor gets lots of her clothes at thrift stores. Lately she's been looking for "anything that looks Southwestern or Indian-ish." Also, "I like what I like."

I asked her where she found her glasses. She says she got 'em at LensCrafters and she went so far as to put a prescription in them. She'd been on a hunt for clear frames. Which reminds me of a little story I'd like to over-share with you (cue the Wayne's-World-flashback squiggly lines and "Doodly doop, doodly doop, doodly doop"):

When I was in elementary school, I had lazy eye, so I needed a patch on my right eye to correct the left one. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also needed glasses for the "good" eye. So my mother took me to the store and let me pick out my own frames. Bad idea. I chose the most geriatric pair a 6-year-old could possibly find. The frames were octagonal and clear brown, and the ear stems bent down in little brackets before looping back up behind my ears, begging the question, "Are you wearing your glasses upside-down?" from every merciless kid in my class.

Hipsters would LOVE those glasses today. -- Nadia Pflaum

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 6

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 15:00:06 -0600

6. Mandals! (photo via Nothing to do With Arbroath)

And they should never be worn with jorts (photo via Georgia Sports Blog)

-- Jen Chen

Mitch at the Record Bar

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:00:21 -0600

Here's Mitch, lead singer of the Rich Boys (on the right) standing next to infamous cab driver to the (local) stars, Mark da Shark. Ignore Mitch's weensy mustache real quick and tell me -- either I'm on crack or Mitch kind of resembles Heath Ledger? Just a tiny bit?

Anywayz, he describes his personal style as "tight." Not as in, "Damn, that shit's tight!" (pronounced toit) but as in tight-fitting. He's been wearing his clothes tight since high school, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by 18-year-old bullies. "A lot of people thought I was gay," Mitch admits. "But I skateboarded for a long time and drove that fashion really hard."

But didn't skateboarders wear super loose clothes back in the high school days? "They did, but it totally flip-flopped in 2000," Mitch says. "They wanted to look more bad boy." Sleeker makes more sense when you're going for speed, come to think of it. I'm sure many a '90's-era skateboarder ate asphalt after an attempted kick-flip in Jncos.

Mitch says skateboard style is a "fast moving trend. American Apparel and Urban Outfitters took it off skateboarding, but I saw it way before it was popular." Right. And now I can say the same thing for the Rich Boys one day. — Nadia Pflaum

The 12 fashion faux pas of Christmas -- No. 7

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:00:27 -0600

7. An avalanche of accessories

No to multiple jangly bracelets and large rings all worn on one hand. And a big no to sweatbands.

And no to fuzzy hats, soul patches and guy jewelry. For a great assessment of Mystery's look, check out The Anti DC, which calls him the Hamburglar. Ha! -- Jen Chen