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Fat City wishes everyone a safe and happy Fourth of July. See you Monday!

Until today, we just assumed that everyone loved baked beans. But as Charles Ferruzza, Owen Morris and new Fat City blogger Jonathan Bender discovered -- thanks to erudite Pitch music editor Jason Harper -- that no less an authority as Pythagorus opposed the consumption of beans (he wouldn't touch meat either, based on the principles of reincarnation). The poet Callimachus wrote: "Keep your hands from beans, a painful food: As Pythagorus enjoined, I too urge." Callimachus, however, did not write: "Beans, beans the musical fruit/the more you eat, the more you toot."

Tooting right along, what's a Fourth of July celebration without baked beans? It's un-American! That's the reason Fat City's Ferruzza, Morris and Bender (with some assistance from Jason Harper and Crystal Wiebe) tasted eleven different varieties of baked beans -- not the Boston Baked version, but the traditional barbecue joint staple -- from many of Kansas City's more iconic barbecue restaurants.

We immediately crossed the beans from Fiorella's Jack Stack Barbecue off the list because our carry-out container of baked beans was heavy on the sauce, seriously light on the legumes and practically meatless.

Here are our choices and rankings for the Top Ten Baked Beans:

10) Greedy Man's BBQ, 5536-A Troost. So thick, glossy and rich with molasses sweetness that they come the closest to Boston baked beans in consistency and taste. Extremely dark in color and light on beef. The overwhelming taste? Sweet, very sweet.

9) McGonigle's Market, 1307 W. 79th Street. The outdoor smoker in front of the store puts out some excellent smoked meats, but the baked beans got mixed reviews from our panel. The legume purists in the group didn't like the mix of different varieties of beans (including lima beans, which Charles detests) and it didn't contain much meat. One taster thought the sauce had a "coffee aftertaste." Owen noted that allspice seemed to be the dominant seasoning.

8) Cosentino's Brookside Market, 14 W. 62nd Street. The meatiest, by far, of any of the baked beans tasted, well-seasoned, packs a little heat, not as sweet. A good blend of spices but this was underwhelming, lack any smokiness that defines a true baked bean.

7) Oklahoma Joe's Barbecue & Catering, 3002 W. 47th Street, Kansas City, Kansas. A beloved spot of all of our tasters, the baked beans are, again, a blend of legumes -- including black beans, which make a pleasing visual note --  and the sauce -- which has some heat -- is splendid; Owen detected a strong note of cumin.

6) Gates Barbecue, many locations. Excellent, sassy and smoky beans. Not a hell of a lot of meat, but well-textured and delectably-seasoned. But like all things Gates barbecue, these were divisive. If you love Gates sauce, you'll love the beans as well. If you don't, then best avoid.

The first in a series about cooking on the cheap and making a family gourmet dinner for about $10. [Blog Well Done]

So a blogger's Jersey cow just gave birth to a beautiful calf and now the "name my calf" game is on. [Just Me]

The sheep in Scotland are getting smaller. The population's declining, and the actual sheep are getting tinier and tinier. Are they de-evolving? Scotsmen look for the answer. [Time]

European nations have lifted the ban on irregularly shaped vegetables. Now you can finally get a pear-shaped eggplant. [NPR]

The Elms Resort & Spa of Excelsior Springs celebrates its 121st anniversary this year. The building has acquired a reputation as the type of place where some guests don't check out. The resort is proud to share stories of its guests' experiences at night. Writes one former guest Dianna L. Painter:

During the night I was awakened by two soft voices. I heard them talking and I looked over to the right corner of the room ... The man was dressed in a long tail dark coat and the lady had on a long dress, the man was standing behind her clasping a necklace for her. I spoke to them and said "you need to leave now, we occupy this room for the night" and instantly they were gone. I finally drifted back to sleep. When I awoke around 5:30 a.m., I told John, my significant other, what had happened. He laughed and said I had been dreaming ... when we were ready to check out and he [John] mentioned it to the desk clerk, the desk clerk said it happens periodically. To this day I can still remember seeing them standing there looking so content together.

In other words, the Elms is a place where history still plays an active role. This weekend, the resort not only concludes its 121-year anniversary party but also hosts the Missouri Wine and Food Festival from noon to 9 p.m. on July 4.

As first reported in our dining newsletter Pitch Forks, the event brings together nearly a dozen local wineries, including St. James, Jowler Creek and Stone Hill, along with music, food from the Elms' award-winning restaurant and, of course, fireworks. Tickets are $15 in advance online and $20 at the door. Ghosts stories are free.

(Image via Elms Resort & Spa)

On trips to two McDonald's this week (to purchase iced coffee), Fat City learned that the Angus burger the company started testing in different markets three months ago has come to Kansas City.

The one-third pound burgers are scheduled to be on most McDonald's menus by today. They still for around $4 a piece. There are three varieties -- a deluxe burger with a "thicker" tomato slice and pickles, a mushroom burger and a bacon-and-cheese burger.

It's the first new burger McDonald's has introduced since the failed Big N' Tasty in 2001. As we wrote in April, the company hasn't had a hit burger since the quarter-pounder more than 20 years ago. While sales of its dollar-menu items have remained strong, it's been losing premium-burger market share to chains as varied as Hardee's and Five Guys Burgers & Fries (14965 W 119th St, Olathe).

While McDonald's believes the new Angus burger fills a "gap at the top end of the menu," some business analysts believe it will cannibalize sales of its other high-end burgers such as Big Macs and Quarter-Pounders.

In test markets, Angus burger sales have always started strong but trailed off over time. In Southern California, sales are off more than 50 percent from when the burger was introduced.

As for the iced coffee, it's nearly as good as Starbucks. But McCafe's are still having service problems, specifically understanding that "no sugar" truly means no sugar or syrups. Coffee drinkers are a finicky bunch but with the millions of dollars McDonald's is spending to unseat Starbucks, they'll probably get the problems with their McBaristas fixed eventually.

(Image via Flickr: Zoe Disco)

Between global warming, bees' dying and the year 2012 approaching, now seems the right time to broach the sensitive subject of cannibalism. Recipe Star has created a light-hearted quiz asking the timeless question What Would Your Body Taste Like to a Cannibal?

Through a series of 14 questions (warning: it will ask you about how fat you are; be prepared to face uncomfortable truths) the quiz somehow manages to predict what delicacy you're akin to.

I taste like spicy chicken.

If cannibalism (even the jokey kind) is a little too sensitive a subject for you, then lighten up it's only an online quiz Recipe Star has several other intensive questionnaires; you can determine, for example, how worldly your tastes are or how much you know about steaks.   

Via sister blog Fork in the Road.

Not a reject prop from a Bond film but the actual artist rendition of what the Guinness 250 anniversary submarine is going to look like.

Guinness Brewery celebrates its 250th anniversary this year. To put that into context, Thomas Jefferson was only 15 years old when Arthur Guinness brewed his first famous stout. It's highly unlikely that Jefferson or Arthur could dream of how the brewer would reward one lucky drinker on its semiquincentennial: a trip to outer space!

The non-profit health policy organization Trust For America's Health released its annual F as in Fat survey yesterday. The results are not especially encouraging for Kansas or Missouri. While neither are among the 10 fattest states, they are perilously close.

Missouri ranks as the 13th fattest, with just over 28 percent of adults qualifying as obese. Kansas increased its adult obesity rate this year to 27.2 percent, tying Alaska for 18th place. Mississippi is the number 1 state, at 32.5 percent.

The real problem in Kansas and Missouri is child obesity. In each state, 31 percent of young people are either overweight or obese. That's four percent higher than it was only two years ago!

While nearly half the states have passed stricter-than-UDSA requirements on nutritional standards for school lunches, breakfasts, snacks and vending machine items, neither Kansas nor Missouri have such laws. Also, Kansas doesn't have any legislation concerning "weight-related assessments" in school, although Missouri does.

To help combat child obesity, the report recommends providing healthy foods for students at schools while increasing physical activity and limiting the time they spend in front of screens. It also mentions food deserts as a problem, saying one of the top goals of states should be to "increase the availability of affordable healthy foods in all communities."

Trust for America's Health also breaks down infectious diseases, curable diseases, health funding and medical insurance coverage on a state by state level, all of which is here.

If you didn't get to attend the KC Urban Farms and Gardens Tour  this past Sunday, here is a slideshow showing some of the things you missed.

Katherine Kelly of the Kansas City Center for Urban Agriculture and one of the tour organizers, says not only the farmers and gardeners who took part were happy, but the attendees were, too. "It was a good mix. A lot of people were interested in food growing, along with a few casual families ... it was people who are interested in eating well and they got a lot of exposure in a limited period of time."

Thirty farms and gardens participated, and the total attendance numbers are trickling in. Event spokesperson Janet Moss said a couple of sites had more than 300 people, and most reported having between 70 to 150 people. Farmers don't have to turn in numbers until the end of the week, but Moss and Kelly believe turnout to be higher than previous tours.

Even if you didn't make it to the tour, it's not too late to check out the farms.

A more in-depth look at the Korean tacos Yummo's is sporadically serving and which -- at 3 for $2 -- are taking the world of cheap lunches by storm. [KC With a Russian Accent]

A great cycling trip of southern Missouri is marred only by the terrible beer. [KC Hop Head]

You can make dog food from beer. Or to be more accurate, the leftover grains from brewing beer can be easily turned into tasty dog treats. [The Wort Hog]

Tomfooleries is open again but the Cigar Box will be closed Saturday and Sunday for some "minor" infractions. [Will Not Be Televised]