Kansas City Food Blog

First off, let me just apologize to my mother for the cookbook I'm about to write about. For her, blogging equals Internet and Internet equals porn, therefore blogging equals porn. I try to keep the adult material and blogging about food separate, but no such luck today. Not when a cookbook like Natural Harvest comes along, with its unsubtle subtitle: "A collection of semen based recipes."

Just in time for Christmas shopping, it's the first (and to my knowledge only) cookbook dealing with the subject of male discharges in edible, recipe form.

After the jump, a recipe and a picture of one such dish.
  Starting off the book is the classic "Almost White Russian," which is two ounces vodka, one ounce coffee liquor, a dash of cream and a half-ounce of semen. Yes, people who make this recipe must go through the trouble of measuring out a half-ounce of semen.

The author of Natural Harvest is Paul Photenhauer, who insists he's "not some sort of whacky freak. I'm just passionate about everything I do, including cooking with cum." Fortunately, this is Photenhauer's only book to date about his passions.

Another money quote from Photenhauer: "Like all other foods, the tastes and aromas of semen open up and are better appreciated when you are able to compare and discuss the different tastes with other connoisseurs."

If you have trouble creating your own ingredient for these recipes, rest assured, Prairie State Semen will mail-order you (no joke) enough to make an entire party.

Natural Harvest retails for $25 new and I strongly suggest not buying used copies.
-- Owen Morris