Noooooo! Sparks to disappear and come back unrecognizable
By Owen Morris in Booze
Friday, Dec. 19 2008 @ 10:00AM
This is a sad day for people who like waking up at 4 a.m. in flop sweat with their hearts going 200 miles-per-hour. Twelve buzz-kill state attorney generals who brought claims that Sparks -- the caffeinated alcoholic energy drink -- was being marketed to underage drinkers and have reached an agreement with booze giant SABMiller to reformulate the recipe so as not to include caffeine or taurine or any energy-drink ingredients.
As an of-age Sparks drinker whose enjoyed it on bike rides, at Christmas parties and before job interviews and hospital visits, this is terrible news.
How to describe Sparks to people who've never had it.
It tastes like Sweet Tarts mixed with chemically doused oranges and Windex. Hey, that's what most
energy drinks taste like and Sparks had enough taurine and caffeine to
hide its 6 percent alcohol content. (Or in the case of
Sparks Plus, 7 percent.)
The best part was that for the price -- a 16-ounce can was only $2.50 (and could be had on sale for under $2). For that, you got the equivalent of nearly two beers and two cans of Red Bull. For $5 you could be set for the night.... and the following morning.
With its herbs and vitamins and chemicals, Sparks could deliver a drunk-high like no other drink (including blasé Jägermeister and Red Bull) but when bedtime came, Sparks showed its dark side.
Sleep may come for a while, but nearly everyone who drank Sparks in massive quantities (more than one) could rely on waking up in the middle of the night in a panic, with the old heart a-racing. Trying to go back to sleep is nearly impossible. Eventually, I learned to only drink it on special occasions like all-night pool parties.
If teenagers are truly gravitating towards Sparks, then it's a serious alcohol they've been messing with. But just because it provides a little kick and scares the living shit out of you is no reason to make it illegal. -- Owen Morris
The best part was that for the price -- a 16-ounce can was only $2.50 (and could be had on sale for under $2). For that, you got the equivalent of nearly two beers and two cans of Red Bull. For $5 you could be set for the night.... and the following morning.
With its herbs and vitamins and chemicals, Sparks could deliver a drunk-high like no other drink (including blasé Jägermeister and Red Bull) but when bedtime came, Sparks showed its dark side.
Sleep may come for a while, but nearly everyone who drank Sparks in massive quantities (more than one) could rely on waking up in the middle of the night in a panic, with the old heart a-racing. Trying to go back to sleep is nearly impossible. Eventually, I learned to only drink it on special occasions like all-night pool parties.
If teenagers are truly gravitating towards Sparks, then it's a serious alcohol they've been messing with. But just because it provides a little kick and scares the living shit out of you is no reason to make it illegal. -- Owen Morris
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