My New Year's Eve
By Owen Morris in Booze, Out & About
Friday, Jan. 2 2009 @ 10:30AM
I know on Wednesday I said I'd most likely stay home and fall asleep well before
Well something inside me (Sparks) made me venture out. Actually, I was already out and about in Lawrence watching the KU Bowl Game. Feeling in a festive-yet-cheap mode and away from the three free places I recommended, I decided to crash a party.
But this is not just any party, I decided to crash the big one in Lawrence.
A well-known Lawrence secret to townies, grad students and sixth-year-seniors is that a certain bar right off Massachusetts Street holds a private -- anything you can drink from the top-shelf down -- party for its loyal customers on New Year's Eve. The party is 100 percent free but there's a very limited amount of invites.
As the guest of one the attendees last year, I got to see how much fun this party is for people who are essentially drinking together most other days of the year. I also noticed last year that the bouncer would leave his post frequently to get drinks and left it permanently after 10:30 p.m.
This year, I wait until a little after 10:30 p.m. when I strolled to the door. Uh-oh, it wasn't quite the same. This was a different bouncer and he looked serious, asking for identification to make sure the name matched the name on the list of a man I saw go in.
I had to think of a plan to get in that bar by New Year's.
My first thought seemed to be a good one. A bunch of people were smoking in front of the bar. My plan was to join the group by asking for a cigarette, pretend like I smoke for a minute and then walk back inside with them. Sure enough, the first person I asked had a cigarette and soon enough the group was shuffling back inside.
The bouncer let the first smoker through with a nod but he stopped the second smoker and asked him his name. The smoker explained he'd just been outside but the bouncer was having none of it. Damn, this bouncer was serious. I silently slithered off the back of the line and thought about my next plan of attack.
I went to a nearby bar to think in the warmth but the bar had a $5 cover. While standing outside pondering whether to drop $5 or not, a group came out of this new bar and started smoking. Using my former plan I joined these smokers and got in the new bar for free. My tinge of regret at having ripped off the bar was silenced when the bar ripped me off to the tune of $12 for a double-well vodka. (For my companion. Just because I'm cheap, doesn't mean I'm not a gentleman.)
$12 spent and an hour to go to midnight. The crowd at the new bar was not my type and the drink prices made me more resolved to get into the private party bar. That's when I hit on my sure-fire plan.
Actually, it was the same as my previous plan, plus one little detail. When I joined a group outside smoking I would get one the people's names in the group. I quickly left the bar and my companion and went outside to hang out in front of the other bar. Sure enough, a new group was smoking. I joined them and asked one the guy's names. He gave me his first name only, thinking on my feet I said, "you look familiar, what's your last name?" I had it! With the info in hand I went back to the shitty bar to give me some time between that group and to work up courage with a double-vodka.
At around 11:30 p.m. I left the shitty bar for the private party. I lingered out front for a minute or so and removed my coat so it would look like I had been out in the cold only a minute. I took my companion's hand, approached the door. The bouncer was sitting to the side of the door and so without stopping I briskly walked in, said the acquired name and without breaking a stride, tossed my coat into the coat pile and just kept walking.
So yes, I did crash a party (and a bar) New Year's Eve night. So much for staying.
-- Owen Morris
The bouncer let the first smoker through with a nod but he stopped the second smoker and asked him his name. The smoker explained he'd just been outside but the bouncer was having none of it. Damn, this bouncer was serious. I silently slithered off the back of the line and thought about my next plan of attack.
I went to a nearby bar to think in the warmth but the bar had a $5 cover. While standing outside pondering whether to drop $5 or not, a group came out of this new bar and started smoking. Using my former plan I joined these smokers and got in the new bar for free. My tinge of regret at having ripped off the bar was silenced when the bar ripped me off to the tune of $12 for a double-well vodka. (For my companion. Just because I'm cheap, doesn't mean I'm not a gentleman.)
$12 spent and an hour to go to midnight. The crowd at the new bar was not my type and the drink prices made me more resolved to get into the private party bar. That's when I hit on my sure-fire plan.
Actually, it was the same as my previous plan, plus one little detail. When I joined a group outside smoking I would get one the people's names in the group. I quickly left the bar and my companion and went outside to hang out in front of the other bar. Sure enough, a new group was smoking. I joined them and asked one the guy's names. He gave me his first name only, thinking on my feet I said, "you look familiar, what's your last name?" I had it! With the info in hand I went back to the shitty bar to give me some time between that group and to work up courage with a double-vodka.
At around 11:30 p.m. I left the shitty bar for the private party. I lingered out front for a minute or so and removed my coat so it would look like I had been out in the cold only a minute. I took my companion's hand, approached the door. The bouncer was sitting to the side of the door and so without stopping I briskly walked in, said the acquired name and without breaking a stride, tossed my coat into the coat pile and just kept walking.
So yes, I did crash a party (and a bar) New Year's Eve night. So much for staying.
-- Owen Morris
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