Why Won't You Die, Gaucho?
Seriously, why are gaucho pants still lingering like a bad odor?
Didn’t they come out like two years ago? Sure, it drapes nicely over the derrière area, which makes for a sexy, non-skanky look. But, the gaucho’s tendency to up the camel-toe factor is high, and its voluminous drapery seems more suited for lounging around the house or a yoga studio. I asked the Significant Other for his take, and he replied, “It lifts and separates parts that shouldn’t be lifted and separated.” Ewww.
Another trend that’s also high on the ewww list is the Striped Shirt. I caught this hilarious discussion on the KC Skycrapers forum about whether a Striped Shirt is the same as a Duder, or if they’re really douchebags of different stripes. The conversation started out about the Paddy O’Quigley’s that’s opening downtown, but devolved from there and spun off into a Striped Shirt sartorial debate. For the record, I define the stereotypical Striped Shirt as an over-starched number with diagonal V-shaped lines, preferably paired with heavy cologne, gelled hair and lots o’ swagger, whereas a Duder is a less-offensive specimen – but a specimen nonetheless.
Fun with pejoratives time: Does anyone have a name for the female equivalent of a Striped Shirt or Duder? There’s got to be a funnier term than Duderette or Sorostitute. Perhaps a Gaucho-ist? Gaucho-bot? Well, whatever the case, just remember: keep those pants where they belong – i.e. nowhere in public. – Jen Chen
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