Kansas City News Blog

Earlier this week, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit issued a ruling that made me think about uptight Kansan Sam Brownback, one of the Senate’s main crusaders against dirty words.

This week, the appeals court basically ruled that the Federal Communications Commission had been a douchebag in imposing decency standards on networks since Janet Jackson’s boob display at the Super Bowl in 2004. Brownback has always been an asshole when it comes to naughty words. He even introduced the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act, which in 2006 raised fines against broadcasters who let bad words slip -- from $32,500 per violation to as much as $325,000 per violation.

The Appeals Court wasn’t specifically addressing that law this week, but it’s not a stretch to consider the decision a setback for Pious Sam. And just because I can, I’ll point out that the Court’s decision is pretty fun reading. That’s because it occasionally refers to a 1975 controversy in which the FCC fined the Pacifica Foundation for its radio broadcast of a George Carlin monologue; when Pacifica appealed, the case went to the U.S. Supreme Court, which kept referring to it in future decisions regarding indecent, obscene or profane language on the radio. Click here to read the Second Circuit’s recent ruling. I’m probably not the only one who’ll think the judges seemed to get off on taking a few opportunities to include “motherfucker,” “fuck,” “shit,” “eat shit” and “fuck the U.S.A.”

The court also included these entertaining examples of airwave dirty talk:

• 2002 Billboard Music Awards: In her acceptance speech, Cher stated: “People have been telling me I’m on the way out every year, right? So fuck 'em.” * 2003 Billboard Music Awards: Nicole Richie, a presenter on the show, stated: “Have you ever tried to get cow shit out of a Prada purse? It’s not so fucking simple.” * NYPD Blue: In various episodes, Detective Andy Sipowitz and other characters used certain expletives including “bullshit,” “dick,” and “dickhead.” * The Early Show: During a live interview of a contestant on CBS’s reality show Survivor: Vanuatu, the interviewee referred to a fellow contestant as a “bullshitter.”

And – this is even better – the court seemed to agree with NBC’s argument that “in recent times even the top leaders of our government have used variants of these expletives… (citing President Bush’s remark to British Prime Minister Tony Blair that the United Nations needed to “get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit” and Vice President Cheney’s widely-reported “Fuck yourself” comment to Sen. Patrick Leahy on the floor of the U.S. Senate).”

All of which makes me wonder what words Brownback might utter to himself, in the privacy of his own little world, as his campaign for president goes fucking nowhere. -- C.J. Janovy