Seventh-Inning Sing Along
Supposedly, the second seventh-inning stretch song is supposed to remind fans what makes their home team so great. The 10 suggestions from the Royals front office seem to have been ripped from dusty Billboard charts.
Perplexed, we e-mailed local music muse Will Bernel, who’s alter ego, DJ Shad, spins at Club Kandi, Korruption and The Hangout’s monthly Shake & Pop DJ night. We asked him to explain the rhythmic relevance for why these beats should move us. He even tossed out a few write-in ballot ideas of his own.
From: DJ Shad To: Paynter, Ben Subject: Pitch Help!!Man whoever came up with the list, it sounds like a bad high school dance play list. By looking at the list, it would explain why the Royals are in last place. It’s dated like the starting lineup. It would help that the Royals would take the time and drive around Overland Park and other areas of the city and find out what people are listening to, because soccer moms don't want to hear "Sweet Caroline." They are listening to T-Pain's "Buy you A Drink" and trying to fit into their 15-year-old daughter’s clothes. Now here is my breakdown of the songs and why they
won't work.1. "Last Dance" by Donna Summer: The reason why this song won't work because it came from a disco movie, Thank God It's Friday, which flopped harder than Grindhouse. It's just setting you up for failure.
2. "Son of a Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield: Great song, but I don't think a preacher, the son, 5 deacons and a choir from 33rd street can help this season's team.
3. "Kansas City" by the Beatles: Maybe it can help rookies new to the team. People should take the time to explain to the players that they are plenty of women who are looking for their "Sir Paul" to take care of their bills.
4. "The Limbo": The perfect song for the front office, because the team is waiting on a budget to get a better team. Ahem, it's also perfect for Buddy Bell’s tentative future as manager.
5. "Cotton Eyed Joe" by Rednex: Who came up with this song? I know Missouri was a slave state, but damn, why keep bringing this up? It could be a secret message that all the great players are in the Royals farm league.
7. "Dancing Queen" by ABBA: There is nothing graceful about the team. Lets be smart and not play “Dancing Queen.”
8. "Come on Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners: Perfect for one-hit wonders, like the Royals.
9. "Shake your Body (Down to the Ground)" by Michael Jackson: How many grounders did we miss this season? I understand its kids day at the ´K, but let's not play Michael Jackson, okay?
10. "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond: It’s apparently old folks day at the ´K, sponsored by the wonderful folks Metamucil and Polygrip denture cream.
My proposed list:
1.”Cupid's Chokehold” by Gym Class Hero’s: It would bring out more people, because kids like it, and parents like it because it samples Supertramp.
2.”Fly Away” by Lenny Kravitz: It would encourage the team not to trade away another superstar.
3.“Cut The Mullet” by Wesley Willis: It's a fun song and it would remind people not to bring back that oh so popular hairstyle from the ´80's.
4.”Slap that Sucker” by Lil Wyte: This would bring crunk to the ´K and that extra energy that the Royals need to win games. Actually, maybe I should take it off the list. I don't need Jason Whitlock to criticize me for liking the music he considers the downfall of black people (even though he was snapping his fingers last week to rap at the Brigade's game).
5.”A Bay Bay” by Hurricane: Every time the Royals hit a home run we all shout out “AY BAY BAY.”
Peace,
will aka dj shad
After some thought, we decided Shad was on the right track. Some nice hip-hop would play well with the kiddies and their groovy soccer moms. We also wanted a local artist to help put KC jams on the map. Thus, we present our Plog nomination:
“More to Life” by Mac Lethal: It’s got that sort of don’t-sweat-it vibe that helps us tolerate when the Royals strike out. It’s also fittingly upbeat for those fans who have sprinted to the concession stands at the bottom of the sixth, but were too slow to get another beer and have returned empty-handed to finish the game out.
-- Ben Paynter
3 comment(s) / Post a Comment
