Kansas City News Blog

Boneyard Birthday Bash

So far, 2007 has been a very good year for goths everywhere. Not only did spooky heavyweight champion the Undertaker defeat the Animal at this year’s World Heavyweight Championship, thereby extending his WrestleMania record to 15-0, but it’s also the 150th anniversary of Union Cemetery at 227 East 28th Terrace. This weekend, the Union Cemetery Historical Society is celebrating the anniversary with guided tours, gravestone rubbings, and historical re-enactments. Have fun, Ministry-T-shirt-wearing eyeliner dude.

Festa Italiana

I am not Italian. My ancestry is English-Irish, and the cuisine of my heritage is Midwestern American, by which I mean lots of casseroles and mayonnaise-based salad dishes. Tomato paste and Velveeta were the binding agents of choice in mom’s kitchen. I am therefore unqualified to comment on the authenticity of the food at the Festa Italiana celebration of Italian Cuisine. However, my coworker Charles Ferruzza is both Italian-American and a food critic, so I looked over the wall separating our cubicles and asked him to comment on the authenticity of the food they serve at Festa Italiana.

“This is the first year they’re having it at Zona Rosa. It was at Crown Center last year. It’s good, solid Italian-American food,” he said, distracted by the live streaming Fox News video of Paris Hilton being escorted back to jail. Reminder: Do not go to Crown Center this weekend looking for a Festivus of Italian Food, because it is, in fact, happening at Zona Rosa (8640 North Dixson Avenue).

Reading is Fundamental

When I’m not busy doing sets of arm-curls with the cement blocks I stole from a construction site on Fifth Street, I’m usually flexing in the mirror and kissing my biceps. If there’s any time left after my rigorous schedule of protein shake consumption and irrational steroidal rages, you’ll probably find me reading a book. That book? Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story. Good day.

If you’re not as interested as I am in genial raconteur Paul Harvey, there are literally hundreds of other books available, many of which can be acquired at a fraction of the original cover price at the annual Summer Book Sale at Metcalf South Shopping Center (95th and Metcalf). I need to pick up a few myself, to fill a wall of shelves which I will then sit in front of like the kind of responsible, intelligent adult you would trust to handle your personal injury lawsuit.