Blogs

By ERIC BARTON

The Germans named Manhattan, Kansas, and it means "whale's vagina." The 3 O'Clock A.M. blog found this video proof that Will Ferrell will be rooting for K-State over his own alma mater, USC. And now we go to Champ Kind for sports.

That's the smell of desire, my lady. Actually, it's the smell of people who have been playing with their dogs all day and then crowded in a room way too small for them to fit. I was one of those dog-smelling people, and I shot this picture with my cell phone, which shows that my view consisted mostly of a guy in a dog-food shirt.

We showed up to voice our support for a dog park, only to have the awesomely mulleted speaker (I never caught his name) tell us that dog parks will likely never happen while the city suffers from a budget crunch. I didn't get his picture, but below is what he'd look like if he leaned against a pickup.

If you're just waking up from St. Patrick's Day: It is now Wednesday, and you will never experience March 18. It's like you traveled to Australia and missed the day altogether. The good news is that you can begin planning for next year's hangover. That's according to Tir Na Blog, which is already looking for volunteers to work next year's parade. If that idea has already led you to begin drinking, please remember to pace yourself, because you've got 363 drinking days left.

Get ready to turn your monitor upside down! This blogger figured out a way to get a-hole on the Independence Examiner's Web site. The secret: a really lame joke! Now let's all try to get fuckwad in the print edition of the Wednesday.

Strip club expansion. He he. Every news outlet in town missed the chance to make a joke about boners in the headline for the story about Temptations looking to expand. Don't they even want to end up on Jay Leno?

She's got 46 eyes. Police are looking for a woman who nabbed 23 pairs of eyeglasses from Insight Eyecare. If you need a new pair of frames, be on the lookout for a woman in print scrubs and a suitcase full of Dolce & Gabbana frames. Chances are, she'll cut you a deal.

I was meaning to take them back to the, uh, pants store. If you haven't noticed from the decrease in wit and humor in this post -- and thank you for not saying so already -- Chris Packham is on vacation. He didn't want me to say where he went, but I'm totally going to anyway! Chris, as any of his close friends know, is fulfilling his longtime dream of re-creating the images from this classic Web site. Thanks for chasing a dream, Chris.