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Jared Allen's: A Club Dedicated to the Man -- And to All Things 69

Wed Mar 12, 2008 at 06:19:20 AM

By JEN CHEN

Last Friday, Jared Allen's new bar had its grand opening. Located on Southwest Boulevard (in the former California Taqueria space), the bar serves up Jared Juice -- fruit punch and Everclear -- and sports the motto, “Wine ’Em, Dine ’Em, 69 ’Em."


Jared really likes his jersey number.

this%20way%20to%20club%2069.jpg
Going up or down?


That's not Gatorade in that bottle.


The ladies of Jared Allen's. Yee-haw!


The easily-fumbled Jared Juice container, next to a bill for size comparison. Try to resist the urge to spike it after downing the drink.


That's Jared!

Category: Out & About

28 Comments:

wumble says:

Does it seem strange to anyone else that this bizarre barbecue joint's building is obviously meant to be a Mexican restaurant? This looks like when someone opens a tax service in a former Taco Bell.

DLC says:

wumble it reminds me of a favorite site http://notfoolinganybody.com/

"a chronicle of bad conversions and storefronts past"

BTW Jared Allen's looks gross.

Biff B says:

So...who's Jared Allen?

And, just by the way, when did young girls in pregnancy suits suddenly become the hottest hiring trend at lame restaurants?


Chris Packham says:

Wumble, if you were a girl, you'd be my life-partner.

Nightmare says:

Them is some good old fashioned corn fed Midwestern farm broads!

Jane says:

With a slogan like "Wine 'Em, Dine 'Em, and 69 'Em," I'm sure Jared Allen's is just awful.

But, just by the way, when did assholes calling attractive, young women fat become the hottest commenting trend on lame blogs?

Dear Jane,

"...when did assholes calling attractive, young women fat become the hottest commenting trend on lame blogs?"

Since young attractive women started running to fat and then proudly displaying it as a fasion statement.

Which is why you won't see any young, attractive fat women on my lame blog.

As an aside, this is NOT a lame blog: do not be hard on yourself.

Ezzmoe says:

to the person who likes to talk **** ONLINE instead of facing this crew face to face.....first off, just because we have a few girls that are a little heavy, doesnt mean that its (commenting trend) we give everybody a fair chance.WE are not the peanut......ouch i know. second,If we do have a pregnant waitress its because she needs to work.. who doesnt...and she may be a good friend...ever think of that dip **** so just because your lame *** doesnt have enough balls to say this to our a face keep your mouth shut and and grow set...

luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

ummmm..... i think i like corn and as for midwestern corn fed if you dont like it get the f**k out.although your mad because you have nothing better to do then put some f**ked up blog online while your taking a break from your porn.....get a life. Come down and speak proudly instead of using the web to take out your frustrations.So next time lets wipe the lotion from our hands and think about it.... we know who you are
luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

ummmm..... i think i like corn and as for midwestern corn fed if you dont like it get the f**k out.although your mad because you have nothing better to do then put some f**ked up blog online while your taking a break from your porn.....get a life. Come down and speak proudly instead of using the web to take out your frustrations.So next time lets wipe the lotion from our hands and think about it.... we know who you are
luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

ummmm..... i think i like corn and as for midwestern corn fed if you dont like it get the f**k out.although your mad because you have nothing better to do then put some f**ked up blog online while your taking a break from your porn.....get a life. Come down and speak proudly instead of using the web to take out your frustrations.So next time lets wipe the lotion from our hands and think about it.... we know who you are
luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

ummmm..... i think i like corn and as for midwestern corn fed if you dont like it get the f**k out.although your mad because you have nothing better to do then put some f**ked up blog online while your taking a break from your porn.....get a life. Come down and speak proudly instead of using the web to take out your frustrations.So next time lets wipe the lotion from our hands and think about it.... we know who you are
luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

ummmm..... i think i like corn and as for midwestern corn fed if you dont like it get the f**k out.although your mad because you have nothing better to do then put some f**ked up blog online while your taking a break from your porn.....get a life. Come down and speak proudly instead of using the web to take out your frustrations.So next time lets wipe the lotion from our hands and think about it.... we know who you are
luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

ummmm..... i think i like corn and as for midwestern corn fed if you dont like it get the f**k out.although your mad because you have nothing better to do then put some f**ked up blog online while your taking a break from your porn.....get a life. Come down and speak proudly instead of using the web to take out your frustrations.So next time lets wipe the lotion from our hands and think about it.... we know who you are
luv to hate us,
WTF why talk

Ezzmoe says:

oh by the way ......wumble we dont serve bbq.. silly man know the facts before you talk s**t

pimpala says:

EZZmoe, calm the f**k down...

JBizzle says:

Did Ezzmoe just have an arguement with his/herself? Very odd. Reading some of those comments is like watching a foreign movie with bad captioning. I can't figure out WHAT the hell is going on.

Anonymous says:

Soon to be a VIKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous says:

Soon to be a VIKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wanderingmeanderer says:

I think that girl is cute,even if she is a touch on the chubby side;she can pour shots down my throat any day.

Anonymous says:

I think we could get a good trade for carl peterson that is what needs done .Not trade jared.

sillygurl says:

Hey, "JIZZ"moe. Breathe.

I'd say you were Jared Allen, but you type too well for a drunk with a craptastic restaurant.

jaredlikeslittleboys says:

why is Ezzmo being an internet tough guy?

Fact is the the club looks nasty the girls don't look much better and I'm sure the food is awful.

Atleast with the owner being an alcoholic the drinks are probably pretty good and big. If you're looking for a cheap night this may be the place to go.

He will also fit in well with the rest of his new team on Lake Minetonka or whatever it was called. Maybe he go open a new AAA rated club there and the rest of the team can get all liquored up before defiling some young woman at sea.

Anonymous says:

hey titty boy Im sure you have never had a drink before in your life mama,s boy .

sillygurl says:

anonymous,

At whom was that directed? You have to be more direct Jared (umm, I mean "anonymous"). Your statement doesn't mean anything, unless you meant to write, "I'm sure you have never had a drink and driven before in your life."

Yeah, sure meant to write that. And if that was directed at me, 1) I'm not a "boy," but you got the "titty" part right, I guess, since I have them as you so delicately put it. 2) Yes, I have never been drunk and the drove, let alone been arrested for it not once, but twice. Kisses.

JAlikesdacock says:

Jared is one of those gays I've been hearing about.

rtmo says:

thing are tough a enough for everyone already in the world why all the hate when i come in all i see is working people trying to make it in life so unless you have actually been here and tried it out then maybe you should use those good manners your mother instilled in you and shut the f up

sillygurl says:

rtmo,

The same can be said of prostitutes and drug dealers. It doesn't change the fact that where they work SUCKS BALLS like Jared's craptastic bar.

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