Shouldn't the Pitch stop contacting this hateful bunch of fuck-ups?

Aren't you just playing into their desire for media coverage?

Hey Shirley, go fuck yourself.

Yikes - such bitterness! And a coward to boot! This is a nation full of heros that hid behind their anonymous computers and spit the most hateful words and then have the big fat audacity to call us hateful because we warn you that if you don't obey your God, you are going to hell and all the bile you have to belch will NOT change that!

BTW while we are on the subject of George the perv Carlin, he is of course going to receive a nice award in November. What is that about?! Is this mic on?? The guy is in hell - what good do you think this award will be for him now? By the time November comes around, the dude would be most grateful if you could get a drop of water to him - if that is the award AND you can overturn the plain words of God and get that water to him, now you are talkin!!

Check it out now:

Luke 16:19 ¶ There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:
20 And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,
21 And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
22 And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father’s house:
28 For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.
29 Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.
30 And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.
31 And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.

Your best friend,

Shirley Phelps-Roper

Shirley,

Your pickets, protests, pissing contests, will not change anyone's oppinion. Are you intending to set examples at the funerals of dead soldiers or homosexual men? You are only building resentment towards "your" God. You type your responses and lead your protests with such anger and sarcasm that you message becomes (much like your church) a joke. There is no genuine concern for well being in your actions only a poking and prodding that is usually reserved for junior high bullies.

You and your Cult are quickly becoming irrelevant and I'm sure you see Carlin's death as the perfect opportunity to thrust your ignorant views back into the spotlight...problem is, once again, nobody cares anymore.

Love,

A

I don't know. I'm back and forth on being completely sick of hearing from these people and completely amused by the dry, sarcastic reporting here.

The line "As always, Phelps-Roper kept her word" is hysterical.

Carlin can handle these jackasses. But he deserves a better send off than the clip from fucking useless-ass Dogma, for Christ's sake.

Hell..and not laughing.

Shirley, does it count if you get a blow job by someone dressed as a girl? I was drunk. Surely God see's the humor in that right?

shirley has an illegitimate son named Sam. God hates whores, shirley.

It's almost as if Joseph Heller were ghost-writing all the Phelps family rhetoric for the last 30 odd years: Circular logic, fallacy heaped upon fallacy, unprovable assertions and a spry enthusiasm for absolutist answers to ever-changing questions about the nature and purpose of the universe and the humans that populate this portion of it.

There is nothing that can happen on this planet that cannot be twisted-nay- rhetorically mutilated until it comports with the Phelps Corporation's dogmatic worldview.

I'm not sure which Phelps is "Milo Minderbinder" and which one is "Nately's Whore" or "Colonel Cathcart" at this point in the metaphor...but I trust that the literati of Kansas City will be willing to help me out in a game of "Match the Phelps To Their Counterpart Character In Catch 22"

??

I like the Heller connection, but it's wrong to equate any Phelps with Milo Minderbinder. The key difference: he acheived success.

I personally think of them as being like "Newsies." But really dumb and evil.

Sure, but "Milo" would be like their penultimate ideal of successful evangelism.

Imagine if you will a young Phelps buck dressed in quasi-fascist uniform, feeding chocolate covered cotton to the flock and uttering the words, "What's good for Christ is good for the Company."

That works, B. My point was that I think Heller would know better than to satirize these clowns, though . . . satire is a weapon best used against the powerful.

But the more I think of it, the more I think that the Phelpses are more powerful than we might realize. Yeah, they're jackasses that even the staunchest Republican dismisses, but their overt hate-speech manages to make the subtle hate-speech and hate thoughts of more typical people seem tame by comparison.

The Phelpses make it easy to say, "I don't hate gay people. I just think they shouldn't be able to get married." Christ, it sounds almost liberal thanks to the juxtaposition.

So, yeah, maybe a talent like Heller should unload on them. Isn't Keven Smith doing so in some movie soon? That-- ugh-- probably won't help.

Thanks Wumble.

As you can see, I'm on the side that says the public should know about the antics of Phelps and his family.

Kevin Smith's "Red State" is supposed to feature a Phelps-type character.

I happen to fall into the category of people who think that people with extremist social agendas should be taunted into public debate and then dissected under the bright lights..sadly debate is not possible with the Phelps Fam.

Debate, no. Dissect, yes. One out of two ain't bad?

G.E.O.R.G.E. C.A.R.L.I.N. = "Godless Entertainers Only Reap Godless Eternity. Consummate Atheists Reap 'Lake Inferno'* Next"

*The lake of fire, as adduced in Revelation chapter 20

The Phelps clan are unevolved creatures whose lives have no value, and whom may be brushed off this planet as one would sweep away an annoyance such as a tick or jigger. They are subhuman filth that deserve the recognition and treatment that one would give to a tumor or a pus-filled herpes sore, and not a millimeter more.

I'm getting the view that heaven and hell must be one large auditorium with George Carlin doing his act on stage (obviously a man that evil must be in line for a staff - if not management - role)
The Phelpsian crowd (in the seats marked "Hell") is writhing in torment from being subjected to the humour, trying their hardest not to enjoy it or understand why it is funny. The rest of us are holding our sides laughing.

I thought that the term "fags" meant cigarettes! Where are you coming from?

I thought that the term "fags" meant cigarettes! Where are you coming from?

I thought that the term "fags" meant cigarettes! Where are you coming from?

Bahahahha, That is FUNNY. George want a drop of water? It sounds like a kids book this stuff you spout.

RIP George, you will be greatly missed. Enjoy laughing at these people.

George entertained (and educated) us all without using hate.

Too bad more can't do the same.

There's an old saying:

"Avoid zealots, for they are generally humorless."

I actually took the time out to meet George and thank him for his influence on my life.

Guess who I haven't taken the time to meet?

Dear Ms Phelps george knew he would probably go to hell. So every night before bedtime he would get into a trancindental state almost. Where he would say his prayers to god and ask for forgiveness for his sins. Now the last time I looked god gave us the ability to be forgiven 7 X 70 times in a day as long as we ask for it. I must ask lady do you ask for forgiveness every day. For the vile crap that you spew out everyday. and for the desecrations that you do when you go to the funerals of great american soldiers that lose their life in the war. By the way when you go to bed each night do you ask for forgivness or is it not a sin according to the PHELPS BIBLE to do the blasfimist sins that you do each day. Yes I do accuse you of sinning. No I am not saying you are going to hell. You may for all I know ask each night like george did to be forgiven for all his sins.

Shirley Phelps-Roper,

You should go fuck yourself because I don't give two shits and a half what you have to say. You don't scare me and your church doesn't scare me and your family doesn't scare me either. You bunch of rumrunners. The truth is, I'm not the one desperate looking for 5 million dollars and my father disbarred from the law so he could wipe your ass, you slimy little cunt! We've outnumbered you in Stout, we will outnumber you again. The Snyder family beat your ass in court, other families will beat you again the same way. There will be no Westboro Baptist Church by the time I get in the limelight. When I do, you and your cult will spent the rest of your life in the poor house or be flippin' burgers the rest of your life. Fuck You, Fuck your threats and Fuck your father!

I DON'T SUCUMB TO PRESSURE AND I DON'T SUCCUMB TO THREATS!

Dear Orphans of America,

do not misconstrue the words or doctrine of me or my holy warriors. We are not saying it's bad to be gay.

Heck, back in the day I spent more time on my knees praying to the magic pink meat missile than I did to Jesus. All were saying is why do they have to have such good fashion sense. Why do queers shop at sears?

So please stop putting words in my mouth; instead shove a big fat mandingo cock in there if you want me to stop talking. That should keep me busy for a couple months.

Sincerely,
Fred "Cum dumpster" Phelps

P.S. Shirley, the only reason I dick fucked your mother is cause I thought she was a tranny.

Shirley, Satan called; he wants his family back and he misses his boyfriend, who is, as we're all aware, your daughter-raping father. Pitch, perhaps rethink ever again giving this cretinous, incestuous tribe of inbreeds space or ink--at least not until the whole family is systematically slaughtered in the street by some heroic soul, which, when it does happen, will once and for all prove the existence of God.