By Justin Kendall
If you've worried about what will happen to Bob the Dog or Mrs. Meowmeow when Jesus raptures your soul to Heaven, worry no more. A Kansas City atheist has a solution for your left behind pets.
In this Craigslist ad, an unnamed atheist promises to feed, water and shelter Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II until they go to the big kennel in the sky after Jesus and the angels have carried you skyward.
"The bible clearly teaches that only those that have accepted Jesus as their savior will enter heaven (John 14:6, Romans 3:23), and we all know that pets do not have the cognitive ability to do this, so what will happen to your beloved pets?" the pet-loving atheist writes. "Surely without you there, they would be stuck inside your empty house, starving to death with no one to feed them, let them out to potty, or clean their litter box. This is probably not what you envision for your pets after you are gone. This is where I come in."
All this for just a $50 deposit.
Literally nobody I know will get raptured away. That means I still have to show up at work. Although, presumably I'll have my pick of fancy Jesus-fish-decorated cars which have been "unmanned."
Posted at: July 22, 2008 2:08 PM