Kansas City News Blog

By Justin Kendall

Topeka's fag-hating Westboro Baptist Church has crosstown competition. The Eastboro Baptist Church says "God hates everyone except us." Most of all, Eastboro says, "there is no greater Hatred than his Hatred of the Westboro Baptist Church!"

Why? Because Westboro's single focus on hating "fags" doesn't encompass God's hatred for everything else in the universe. "Thus, God hates the Westboro Baptists above all things," Eastboro's Web site reads, "because, whilst charading [sic] around as the true followers of God’s Hatred, they do not hate enough!"

Eastboro's satirical Web site mirrors Westboro's. Eastboro is led by the Rev. Ben Bigots, who supposedly has a shared history with Westboro Rev. Fred Phelps. Bigots and Phelps were supposedly raped in the same Scout troop ("This laid the foundation for what would later become their rampant homophobia," Eastboro's Web site says). The site also claims they went to the same high school and shared a "profound religious experience" when a "gay lion" pissed on them at the Meridian Zoo. Oh, and Bigots promotes inbreeding among his children to protect them from "fag genes."

"It is also important to note that, although Ben Bigots does have some striking similarities to Fred Phelps, it is nothing more than coincidence, and they were never anything more than acquaintances," Eastboro's Web site says. "Although some sinners at Meridian High have spread some nasty rumors saying other wise, they have no basis aside from something they thought they saw behind the school that was actually a big misunderstanding and wasn’t at all what it looked like."

Also check out this handy guide to enablers, their picketing schedule and Eastboro's purpose.