Crime Scene KC is right. This mock press release from interim Columbia Chief of Police Tom Dresner is a pretty great follow up to his hometown Missouri Tigers falling to the Kansas Jayhawks. Dresner wrote the note to Lawrence Chief of Police W. Ronald Olin, saying he was issuing warrants for first-degree robbery against the entire Jayhawk football team. "Not since the horrendous 'Fifth Down' robbery committed against us by the Colorado Buffalos on October 6, 1990 have the citizens of our fair city been so traumatically victimized," Dresner wrote. "I can assure you that the good people of Columbia, Missouri are resilient and somehow we will get through this. Seeing justice done is the first step in the healing process." -- By Justin Kendall