Kansas City News Blog

Nyx and her versatile saber-wand wouldn't stand a chance against the awesome psi-power of Stevie Nicks. Maybe they'll duel this Friday at the Sprint Center.

Oh for fuck's sake... I wish that damn WSR site would finally bite the dust. Please don't judge the whole movement on that shitty site.

Oh I've heard of Nyx. I've got such a celebrity crush on her! And I'm sure she can kick any bad guy's ass. I feel a lot safer with her patrolling the streets.

I guess I shouldn't be so dismissive. After all, I used to want to be a superhero too. Of course, then my testicles descended, my voice changed, and I got interested in girls. Somehow being a superhero didn't seem quite as important after that.

And is it just me, or does the costume of "Insignis" (see WSR website) bear a rather unfortunate resemblance to a Klan robe?

"Realist says:
I guess I shouldn't be so dismissive. After all, I used to want to be a superhero too. Of course, then my testicles descended, my voice changed, and I got interested in girls. Somehow being a superhero didn't seem quite as important after that.

And is it just me, or does the costume of "Insignis" (see WSR website) bear a rather unfortunate resemblance to a Klan robe?"
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First off, Insignis, is part of The Black Monday Society,YES, a group of heroes. And he has by far, done more good, in the last three days, than you probably have in your whole life. And is the furtherest thing from the clan.

Second, Quit badmouthing these people. At least they are out there, helping people. What have you done? What accomplishment do you have that so outshines theirs? They give people hope, even when assholes like you try to tear them down. And the sad part is, you'll bad mouth them, say all these things, and they will still help you. Because it's the right thing to do.

Oh Jesus- just took a piss and wiped the tears from my eyes. Sorry about the piss-poor spelling and grammar. It's hard for me to type and read when my eyes are full of tears.

Holy crap, the hits keep coming. I read some more of the registry. I'm not in position to offer any algebraic computations on the validity of the "superheroes" that claim to be "in a relationship" but something tells me that number of virgins on that site is consistent with the number of "superheroes" on that site. That being said, stroking your pecker or flicking your bean to a picture of Robin or Catwoman does not constitute being "in a relationship".

"Oh I've heard of Nyx. I've got such a celebrity crush on her! And I'm sure she can kick any bad guy's ass. I feel a lot safer with her patrolling the streets."

As for the asshat that made the above comment, I salute you! I can only ascertain that sarcasm was your objective. Oh please God- tell me it was sarcasm. I'm afraid that if NYX approaches me in the middle of the night and tries to "kick my bad guy ass", I just might leave a steaming pile of shit on her face.

What a bunch of d-bags!

They give people hope

That's for sure. I hope nobody thinks they're related to me, or friends of mine. That would be quite embarrassing.

Quit badmouthing these people.

Make me. What kind of lame-o superhero can't even shut up a heckler?

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength - Eric Hoffer

Its funny that you assholes hide behind your computers but we're the ones out there successfully living lives and hunting down bad elements. You keep talking, and talking, and talking... But I'm sure you'll have some backtalk for me too, some reason why you can't come out from behind your computer to voice your opinions... i mean, thats what you do. You jeer, and heckle, and all the while you live vicariously through other people, no doubt thinking that by going online and trying to tear down people that help any way they can.

Last month we went to Washington Square park and had a stand off with a bunch of drug dealers until they all left. We were threatened by the block manager. But we stayed there, in our "uniforms", until every single one was out. I personally dont give a shit about drug dealers, but they shouldn't be in a park that was made for people to enjoy. And we're going back again and again.

So let me just say, put up or shut up. Your assumptions make you look like an idiot, and the world could use less of your kind right now.

That was a great article, Nyx! Congratulations. Very cool. Glad they finally mentioned Heroes Network, too.

Some people immediately understand the hope and positive results of what we do, whether it's crime-deterrence, charitable activities or disaster response, while others will never get it until they're the ones who need our help. And yeah, of course we'd help them.

I really hope youre somewhere close to NYC. Cause im not paying a bunch of money to come kick you in your face.

I'm thinking about this american news spot that I watched earlier today about a guy in a really well made mask with an asymmetrical Donnie Darko rabbit logo on his chest who "fights crime".

The Superhero Registry site later informs me about other people who fight injustice in uniform. "Angle Grinder Man", for example, saws boots off of the cars of unjustly clamped motorists. Captain Jackson though, he hates Angle Grinder's fucking guts cuz' he thinks the Angle Grinder is a criminal, which he is, but hear me out: AGM's also very specific about what he does: "Boot sawing. Booting cars is unjust, so I saw them the fuck off." Fair enough. Shadow Hare on the other hand, "fights crime." Testament to his dedication: he dislocated his shoulder defending a woman from a homeless guy. However, what ups the "Who gives a shit" factor regarding Shadow Hare is that saying that you "fight crime" is about as vague as answering someone who asks you what's for dinner by saying "food" and the best example he has of his heroic exploits involves hurting himself while defending someone from an overzealous panhandler.

Shadow Hare does sound like Toby McGuire however, which grants him superhero mojo by association.

So, I'm thinking about how superheroes conceal their identities, while supervillains lay it out on the line. Yeah, his hideout was tucked away in some backwoods eastern European country, but Dr. Doom never hid in anonymity: his fucking face was made of metal, and his first name was Victor, pleased to meet you. If you had the balls to do it, you could easily find his house: its the big one at the top of the hill, says "Von Doom" on the mailbox, can't miss it. Lex Luther named his company after himself. The Joker wore make-up, but had no alter-ego. These guys were the real deal. Granted, their sincerity stemmed from the relative safety their families enjoyed from the retaliation of their virtue-bound enemies, or the fact that they didn't have any families to speak of/care about, but what about their super lairs? Daredevil and Spiderman were constantly storming the Kingpin's super building and kicking his super ass, because the man made no pretense regarding its super location.

More often than not, a supervillain led an army of paid employees to fuck up a city, bank, or generally to racketeer, while superheroes banded together, or acted alone, to "fight crime" gratis. You know why? The goal was too fucking nebulous. They couldn't excite any public or private support for their activities because said activities lack any actual definition. "By crime, do you mean arresting drug dealers?" "When I fight crime...you'll know what I mean...by fighting crime." Yes, very mysterious, but you know what? He has no idea how he's going to "fight crime". He's going to wander around at night in his pyjamas until "crime" steps right up and breaks his friggin' shoulder.

Effective superheroes are those public figures with clearly defined philanthropic goals and public personas unmarred by an antisocial distrust in humanity. I heard about a Toronto cop who got his ass kicked by some gang members who recognized him while he was off duty. He's still a cop. That's a superhero. Punch a drug dealer in the face - they aren't hard to find - and do it in broad daylight in your street clothes. Volunteer at a homeless shelter and shake some hands. This costume shit is narcissistic weird garbage that belies some deep seated emotional problem that has less to do with criminals than insecurity and, ironically, a hatred of other people. Its "Taxi Driver" without the uncompromising exercise regimen.

You'd be surprised at the physical hell some of us put ourselves through to serve the public. And still you want to bitch.

We don't tell you exactly what we do (in most cases) because we'd rather not incriminate ourselves. Make sense now?