Sam Brownback, watch out! You've got competition for the Republican nomination

One Kansas gubernatorial candidate biblical and constitutional tests for new laws, and it isn't Brownback.

​I thought Sam Brownback was going to have an easy road to the Republican nomination for Kansas governor. That was until I heard about Joan Heffington, who runs a nonprofit called the Association for Honest Attorneys. Guess who sits on the board? God! Beat that, Brownback!

Oh, you can't. And here comes the Topeka Capital-Journal (saw it on Wonkette) with more reasons why Heffington just might pull off a stunner in the Republican primary.

• "...covert government operatives are infiltrating hospitals in Kansas and elsewhere to conduct biological and chemical warfare experiments on unsuspecting patients."

• "In February, she said, she learned operatives implanted microchips in a man who had refused to give the government a lucrative invention he had created. The microchips were transported through a window and into the man's body using a satellite, she said. 'The technology is so advanced that they can do it that way,' she said."

• "A 22-year-old man was unlawfully detained, tortured and infected with H1N1 by operatives after discovering that Guantanamo Bay detainees were secretly being flown to McConnell Air Force Base, Heffington said. She believes a pen was used to deliver the virus."

• "The state of Kansas is operating under a dictatorial French law that the CIA helped establish here in the 1950s, Heffington said. 'They needed a state where unsuspecting people could be treated like guinea pigs so they could try out their covert activities,' she said."

• "Heffington, who strongly opposes abortion, added that she would not approve any legislation that didn't pass a biblical test. Asked what she would do if presented with a bill that drew more than two-thirds public approval but with which she disagreed on religious grounds -- such as a measure easing restrictions on abortion -- she said: 'It's just not going to happen.'"

Her running mate, a pastor named Mark Holick, is equally sensible. He posted this message on a billboard outside of his Wichita church:

"American we have a Muslim President this is a sin against the Lord! EX. 20:3" 

No word yet on whether voting for Brownback is also a sin, but keep your eyes on the billboards around Kansas churches for a sign.