Kansas City News Blog

​Macramae brings many horrible memories flooding back to me. Not this bad (allegedly), but bad nonetheless.

This week, the Crap Archivist relived his own tortured memories while getting tangled up in Creating With Macrame. Damn if the guy on the right doesn't look like he's wearing one of Chewbacca's relatives.

Here comes some Star Wars nerdery courtesy of one of our favorite commenters, THC:

I always wondered if Ewoks were just the Fun Size Wookies given out on Halloween.

For The Win.

Also, this week, a special honorable mention to Caroline, who referenced Kansas football coach Mark Mangino's gravitational pull ...

Nut up, KU players. Take responsibility for your altercations with the basketball team and for your losses and move forward. Many coaches yell and physically interact with players. If you want to transfer, then do it, but don't blame the couch (typo and it stays). And he probably didn't mean to physically interact with a player, the kid probably just got sucked up in his force field.

and newly suspended Chiefs receiver Dwayne Bowe's dreaded illness ...

Poor Dwayne Bowe. His prescriptions for the dreaded conditions of Butterfingeritis and Ham Hands must not be on the league's approved drug list.

​You draw a Florida to look like a big cock -- and say "Florida got excited" -- in a classroom, then you won't be teaching for long.

Ryan Haraughty found out the hard way this week. I mentioned Haraughty's poor artistic skills -- and the outcry from Haraughty's students over his firing -- in this post, "Teacher fired for drawing phallic-like Florida."

Commenter "Jameson Mc"

Yah... the one that started the petition would infact be Naiomi (sorry if i speeled your name wrong). Today The district admin came to talk to us 8th hour and the same person says "Wasn't the thing they tryed him for removed in 2008?" That was hillarius, right above my question "could you please define "sexual banter" Mrs. Chatman?"

I'm not sure who told, but i think it was Hunter with the leg brace.

Uh, OK. Enter Midtown Miscreant for the win (with a nod to THC):

They need to fire whoever is teaching english at that school

We'll look past Double M's own grammatical issues and give him the comment of the week for making us laugh our asses off.

Photo by Scott Spychalski

Larry Johnson

​Larry Johnson reports back to work on Monday. His suspension will be over, and the news about his homophobic slurs and criticism of his coach will be forgotten and everyone will kiss and make up.

Uh, probably not.

Fans are banding together to keep LJ on the sidelines and away from the Chiefs' all-time leading rusher record.

They're circulating a petition/letter to general manager Scott Pioli, asking him to keep LJ off the field and 80 yards shy of the record.

But where were these fans when LJ was acting like a dick but playing well? That's what Comment of the Week winner Rampage asked on this post:

So Larry Johnson is an immature jerk. Well the K.C. fans help him get that way. All the adulation when he was performing well. The times he committed his off field offenses, the Chiefs and their fans welcomed him back with welcoming arms. Who cares if he become the Chiefs leading rusher? Just trade him at the end of the season. Maybe holding the Chiefs rushing record will make him more valuable in a deal with some other team.

As of earlier today, 28,892 people had signed the petition. Maybe they'll get what they deserve.

Photos by Scott Spychalski

Larry Johnson

​Larry Johnson week is officially over.

We think.

We'll keep checking the Larry Johnson Outrage-o-Meter, but unless something big happens to King Pink -- like say, he gets traded or released or breastfeeds a cat -- then we're probably not touching it.

But we gotta give "Comment of the Week" to a reader of this post: "Chiefs' Larry Johnson says fan has 'fag' picture." When all the controversy started with LJ using homophobic slurs and criticizing his coach, one reader, Mia, offered some perspective:

I think we have all missed the point. The fact that an NFL player is more comfortable tweeting than having a conversation with his coach is telling. We as a society are more obsessed with technology than our own best interest. Quit tweeting and start talking. We are on the edge of insanity and have already crossed the line into the absurd.

Thanks, Mia.

​In this week's chapter of Exploring the Right Wing Blogosphere, the Village Voice's Roy Edroso surveyed conservative thinking on the NFL's shunning of team-hungry Rush Limbaugh.

Plog reader Realist weighed in this way, starting with a quote (in italics) from Edroso's entry:

Doug Powers was incensed that the NFL had approved Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie for NFL ownership, as she had sung sexually explicit lyrics.

Unlike right-wing hero Ted Nugent, performer of "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" along with "Wango Tango" and other non-explicit anthems.

You'd think their feet would be getting tired of being shot all the time, wouldn't you?

Wango dango if that isn't our Comment of the Week. Realist, if Ted Nugent ever opens a dude spa, your first pedicure is on us.

​Kansas City's downtown renaissance was on display again with last night's NBA preseason game. It came a week after KCPT-TV aired The Next American Dream, which our David Martin called "part history lesson, part infomercial" after watching the doc's premiere. 

Martin wrote:

Funded by the Greater Kansas City Area Development Council, Dream paints a portrait of a city a bit more dynamic and progressive than it really is. But by the end credits, even cynics of the way business gets done in Kansas City will feel excited by what's taken place over the last five to 10 years.

Martin wasn't the only one turning a critical eye to the doc. So did thePhantom*, who issued a lengthy but insightful review of his own in the comments section:

The good thing about this documentary is that it might just raise the pride of KC ( the ACTUAL CITY / DOWNTOWN). Perhaps those abroad will recognize KC. Also, it showed before footage of KC in it's heyday and then to its blighted condition.

The bad thing about this documentary is that it was a ton of hype and not enough substance of WHY Kansas City's urban-core became a ghosttown - essential for preventing it to happen in the future! It, for the most part, just say's people left the city...

..wonder why?

This brings me to the UGLY: The Documentary damn near completely ignores the reason why KC's downtown and urban-core in general needed to be revitalized: R-A-C-I-S-M. Something this town has been ignorance since it's essence. The almost cliche White Flight then BLACK flight! NOW Gentrification. Now, don't get me wrong the gentry are more than welcome in the city - they bring jobs and love to spend money on fostering culture (something the working class can't do) - but lord if this city turns into an inverted donut, where the poor/working class gets pushed to the burbs, that'd be an ugly situation.

This city spends too much on infrastructure, simply because we've spread out. We have enough geography for three Kansas Cities. We need smart growth and an anti-node mindset. We need people in city hall who know what the HELL they're doing. GOOD urban planners.

The failure with Power & Light is that there was no housing attached to the project! That's a no no. Almost every major Development project in Johnson County is developing mixed-use areas with HOUSING.

I am glad, however, that things are turning inward. We're at a time with the burbs have to compete with the "URBAN". Urban is becoming cool - simply because we want walkability and diversity. The new development that was just allotted funding on 135th street in OP is an example of this. But unfortunately, they'll have to do a lot more -- essentially rebuild its city to be truly urbane.

Bottom line, this documentary was very VERY cute and endearing. They interviewed the most typical guests and had a black man narrate the thing meanwhile avoiding the reason the city looks like a friggin third world country. We as a diverse city, must stand up and mold these guys into properly representing where we stand and where we WANT to stand. That's our job.

That folks, is the Comment of the Week.

Jason Miller and Victoria the deer head

​The divisiveness of the Shawnee Mission Park deer hunt is bringing out the worst in people, with readers praying for "hunting accidents" and others suggesting that vegan activist Jason Miller should dress up like a deer and go grazing during the harvest and some hoping the deer protesters hit deer while driving this winter.

But there was one comment that made us laugh. In response to "Deer defenders cause traffic jam -- but no arrests -- at Shawnee Mission Park" the anonymous commenter wrote:

who wants to join me to protest the harvest of the millions of innocent soybean plants that are going to be slaughtered and made into tofu?

We're already with you.

​O'Fallon loon, birther (and Missouri state Rep.) Cynthia Davis is becoming a regular around Plogville. Every time she opens her mouth, something amazing happens. Like racism gets declared dead or starving children should get their asses to work at McDonald's so they can score discounted meals.

This week, Davis offered a bizarre explanation for the lack of traction she's getting for trying to prove that President Obama is not an American citizen. It's because, Davis told The Washington Independent, Orly Taitz has a strange accent.

"Her credibility is questioned because she has an accent," Davis told The Washington Independent, "and yet the reason she has an accent is because she came from a Communist country, and she knows how awful that is, to have a government usurped."

Silly prejudiced liberals.

In honor of Davis' logic, the Comment of the Week goes to Anonymous.

What the fuck is she talking about???? Does she know what's going on in today's world??

No, she doesn't.

​Heavy times abound, but we can all learn something from My Weekly Reader.

Our Crap Archivist dug up copies from 1936 for this week's edition of Studies in Crap (live every Thursday morning on the Plog!), and inside are lessons on race that one Missouri state rep may want to ponder.

The illustration and caption on the right were the inspiration for this week's comment of the week. And the winner is ... Ilana, who wrote:

I'm encouraged that they don't tell which color to color your dick. They let the kids use their imaginations!

So do we.
 

​Patrick Swayze's Road House is the only reason I can think of to go to Jasper, Missouri. He frickin' rips a guys throat out in the flick and epically proclaims, "Pain don't hurt," while defending the Jasper's Double Deuce. Swayze plays Dalton, a world famous bouncer and a philosopher (he does tell his staff to "be nice." Deep).

Swayze died this week after a two-year struggle with pancreatic cancer. I wrote a tribute to Swayze and Road House because it kicked my ass -- and apparently every man in his mid 20s to early 30s.

In honor of Swayze, I'm giving the comment of the week to Monitor and Anonymous for their thoughts on Swayze's death.

Monitor wrote:

If pain don't hurt, what is this awful feeling that overwhelms me whenever I remember that Dalton's gone?

And Anonymous added:

It is in my understanding, of Southwestern Missouri lore; that, Dalton was based on a real person. Who did in fact(?) work in a Jasper bar. Jasper and to a lesser extent Carthage were notorious and rowdy biker hangouts during the 60's and 70's, due to their proximity to Rt66. Although I quite sure the nefariousness was subjective.

Rest in peace, Swayze. And if anyone has the number for the real Dalton, e-mail me.

​On a somber day of remembrance it's fitting that the Comment of the Week is about remembering a lost loved one. Yesterday, Jackson County prosecutors charged Elbert J. Holly with second-degree murder for his role in the death of Montague K. Ashline.

Also yesterday, Rosamarie wrote the following comment about her cousin on this Killa City post.

I just want to say that Kevin was my favorite cousin. He was always there for me when ever I needed someone to talk to, help and support. My cousin was very young when he got killed and to know that a 45 year old man and 33 year old man are responsible is very very massed up. These are grown a** man and my cousin was only 22 years old. I bet you these guys didn't even think about the fact that his mother just barried her daughter "Jennifer Ashline" Kevin's older sister on 6/20/07. This is two years and 4 days before Kevin's murder. Jennifer loved her brother, mother, sisters and family. Kevin was everything to her man I mean the love my cousin had for her brother who was also like my little brother to me was very precious. Jennifer is another person that was always there for me and when we lost her it was devestating. I cried every day for like 3 months. I got so stressed out behind her death I didn't think I was going to make it but, I had to remember I had a child of my on. Now I have lost Kevin and I try every day to not think about what happend but I can't help it. Sad that these guys were so selfish they killed him for not having anything. I am really going to miss my cousin and I can't say that this will give me and my family closure but trust these guys will get whats coming to them! I love you CUZZ RIP Kevin "Mearl" Ashline.

Sorry for your loss, Rosamarie. We hope you find peace.

​Interfere with Kansas City residents' ability to drink in public until the wee hours, and opinions will flow.

Peter Rugg's post about a proposed ordinance restricting 3 a.m. liquor licenses to areas of the city "more synonymous with convention and tourism" spun a long comment thread. There were vodka-flecked howls of disapproval as well as arguments that Westport, which is both a destination and a residential neighborhood, needs to tighten up the dispensing of alcohol.

Citizen of the world Miles Bonny used a recent trip abroad to argue that Kansas City leaders should do more celebrating and less tsk-tsking.

I just returned from doing shows in Germany, where they not only have NO CLOSING TIME (and often close at 6am), but cities like BERLIN actually promote their nightlife to tourists. On the plane ride home I listened to airplane radio discussing how great and vibrant the clubs in Berlin are. DEAR KANSAS CITY POLITICIANS, NIGHTLIFE IS A DRAW!! Often times Im dissapointed at the confused direction of this city's development. It seems KC government is unaware of how they are not only destroying future evening entertainment but also pushing dollars into the hands of out of state business. I feel this is a poor choice.

One a.m., 3 a.m., we choose whiskey and then a cab.

​Texting while driving is a no-no for the youngins 21 and under right now. That's where we find our Comment of the Week on this post, "Txt swrv, crsh illegal 4 21 & yngr n MO Fri."

And the winner is ... Chimpo.

A couple weeks ago I tried my first ever text while driving. I would have felt safer hitting the glass dick while behind the wheel than I did trying to type out a message.

Remember, kids: Keep your eyes on the road and your mouth on the glass dick. Thanks, Chimpo!

​This week made me want to reach for the jar of crazy lady pills, mostly due to the hyperbolic rhetoric of the drug-'em-don't-kill-'em protesters at the Johnson County parks board meeting this week (Carolyn Szczepanski's "Last night's protest: Deer defenders at JoCo parks meeting"). Take this comment from "warwak."

Look what corpse-munchers do to loving cows, chickens, pigs, and other partners on this planet we all have the privilege of sharing. Corpse-munchers do not know how to conduct themselves in the Universe. We search in outerspace for other life forms; yet, most apathetic pus-chuggers ignore the many amazing beings right here on Earth. All corpse-munchers really care about is how that one will taste. Corpse-munchers are so disconnected they can't even stand having deer wander through their packed lives.

Uh, OK. Leave it to our favorite blogger grouch, Midtown Miscreant, to put the animal love into perspective.

I think the comments from warwak put things in perspective. If you eat meat you are a corpse muncher. These clowns go to a meeting, are specifically asked to conduct themselves respectfully, so they proceed to yell, shout, call people killers and generally act like idiots. How do these people expect anyone to give them a shred of credibility when they go out of their way to show their ass? While I agree that bow hunting is probably not the most humane way to go, their argument is lost in their moronic behavior. Miller is an Anarchist, his website compares the plight of Animals to Apartheid. nuff said.

Midtown, we owe you a veggie burger.

​Like Morrissey, the more we ignore Phill Kline, the closer he gets.

When Justin Kendall pointed out yesterday that Kline's August 11 blog attack on "Obamacare" put the ex-Kansas attorney general just a little to the right of David Koresh's Branch Davidians, fur flew in the comments.

Take, for example, "Allen":

When government says,"thou shalt have an hysterectomy or vasectomy to save the general population," you pretty much will have to do it.

No, really. Take Allen, someone.

Hang on. Commenter "Josh" has this one:

And what the fuck, exactly, are you talking about? This would never happen, not in a million years. You are an idiot, Allen.

Far be it from us to encourage name calling and vitriol. On the other hand, thanks, Josh. Here's some name calling for ya: Comment of the Week.

​We hate puppies here at Plog, but that won't stop us from reporting a messed-up story when we see one. Which is what Nadia Pflaum did earlier this week in "Animal control officers have new quota, are coming for Muffin." As of August 1, each field officer at the Animal Control Department of Kansas City, Missouri, must issue a minimum of 15 summonses for negligent pet owners and impound a minimum of 20 dogs per month. Some dog lover over at Kansas City Dog Advocates figured out that added up to 360 dogs per month, or 4,320 per year.

All of which predictably led to lots of yapping, including this bit of insight from the long-suffering Aggie's Dog, who's been hanging around our comments more and more lately:

Leave it to Kansas City. If there's a problem (such as their own employees not doing their jobs), you can count on Kansas City to find the most backwards "solution" and to ignore all the possible creative win-win type solutions. That's why we're a "podunk town" (the one thing the mayor's wife was ever right about) and not a progressive city.

Aggie's Dog, you can curl up in a corner here any time. Because we don't really hate puppies. 

James Ragsdale

​It's been a nasty, bad week in (and out of) Kansas City, and this week's featured comment reflects the sad state of our city. This comment -- which is also a plea for help -- was left by Shanae Gibbs on "Killa City: KCMO homicide No. 66, James Ragsdale dies from injuries sustained in weekend shooting."

I really miss my brother and will struggle with this loss for awhile. The community is tired of the violence within our on community and it needs to stop. The innocent suffers, the family is only left with the memories and the guilty goes free. Any information in this case is useful, names, numbers, etc... Please those involved and/or those with critical information for once in your lives stand up! James Ragsdale wasn't just a name that you heard, he was a father, employee, son, role model, brother, friend, business owner and future husband. Please don't let him be just another unsolved murder. It stops when we stop it. Have you done something good for your community lately? 474-TIPS.

Be good to each other this weekend.

 We know we're privileged, here in Plogland. Few people can say they actually get paid to do things like take a picture of a skimpy pink bathing suit and a pair of high heels lying in the street near 17th and Baltimore, make up a quiz to go along with it, then sit back and wait to see what you guys have to say about it and snicker along.

Though competition was fierce this week thanks to Aggie's Dog, this week's favorite comment was from THC in response to one of the multiple-choice options in our Crossroads Pop Quiz (are the underwear and shoes "A sign of the Rapture and we've all been left behind?"):

Come on! You know nobody north of 119th street is getting raptured, it's in the books!

Glad you're staying here with us on earth for a little while longer, THC.

Thanks for hanging out with us this week at the Plog cantina. As always, we like having you around for the love, hate, whatever. Enough of the Whitlockian cries for attention. We're giving this week's Comment of the Week to Capt. Obvious for a couple of great greeting card ideas given Marvel Comics new alliance with Hallmark ("Iron Man is sorry to hear about your heart surgery ...").

I want to buy the "Welcome Back From the Dead for the ______th Time" cards. And also the "Mom, I'm a Mutant."

Congrats and see you at Comic Con.

Speaking of comments, today is Fat City blogger Owen Morris' last day. If you haven't wished him happy trails, you should because he totally kicked ass. Good luck, Owen. We're gonna miss you.

And be sure to welcome the new guy, Jonathan Bender (Note: Not the same Bender who played for the Indiana Pacers from the 1999 to 2006). Just be gentle with the hazing.

We know you have a choice when you fly the Internet, and we thank you for choosing Plog. As we near the terminal, please remember that contents of the overhead bins may have shifted during flight and when you open the compartment you may get a facefull of, say, jjskck, who lets his chips fall where they may when he reads about the World Series of Poker:

Can poker just go away once and for all? I'd love to go the rest of my life without hearing another douche talk about how his trip jacks lost on the river (to an IDIOT, no less!) at the 3/6 table at Harrah's. It's as bad as listening to your fantasy football team's injury situation.

Aw. Where's the love for Gabe Kaplan?

Petite jurist Ruth Bader Ginsburg elicited this week's "Comment of the Week" on the Plog.

On Tuesday, Peter Rugg reported that the U.S. Supreme Court had declined to take a case about the constitutionality of Missouri laws directed at the troglodytes who preach a hateful brand of Christian fundamentalism at funerals.

"Shepcat," whom we know to be Brent Shepherd, a proofreader who helps minimize the atrocities of The Pitch's writing staff, considered the photo that appeared with Rugg's entry and wrote:

Who's the Olan Mills photographer whose bright idea it was to stand tiny (but formidable) Ruth Bader Ginsberg on the back row with the frontcourt of Bird, Pa[r]rish and McHale?

Well played, sir.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/nodame88/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Thanks again to everyone for dropping by chez Plog this week. It's time to crown the "Comment of the Week," and we're giving this crack by Emily on "KC can keep banning smoking in bars and restaurants" the win:

I'll take stale beer and piss over smoke any day. Hell, you can even throw in some vomit and expired milk. Still better than breathing in smoke. Smokers use their feet and go outside to smoke.

Emily, we promise not to offend your olfactory senses.

We love hearing from you guys, and we'd like to salute everyone who commented this week. Even those of you who call us DBs!

Our first-ever "Comment of the Week" is from local blogger and Red X wine connoisseur jjskck who responded to "KC Council says yes to spending $500K on convention hotel study" in this way:
 

Thanks for the update. This is a monumentally stupid waste of money. Here's what the study will say: KC needs a hotel with 1,055 rooms (1,000 is too round a number; they have to make it look like they're earning their money). Otherwise, we will be losing eleventy point five billion dollars per annum to the likes of St. Louis, Louisville, and Indianapolis. Guaran-damn-teed. I would have told them that for a bottle of Saison-Brett and a Juicy Lucy from the Foundry. Horse. Shit.

We owe you a Juicy Lucy.