By JUSTIN KENDALL
Costumed thumbs wrestled Saturday night for a phallic-looking trophy. Julianne Donovan’s 2008 Festivus celebrated the quirky anti-holiday with feats of strength, torture and grievances. Click here for a look at the night in pictures.
By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE
Before debuting its new line of celebrity martinis to the public, the Brick included some favorite patrons in a special taste test. On the menu: 12 vodka drinks featuring such flavors as Ginger Peach, Lemon Mint and Blueberry Pomegranate. Taste testers wrote down their comments and suggested which national or local celebrity each drink should be named for. The new martini menu comes out on Friday.
Click here for a slideshow.
By Justin Kendall
The season for the airing of grievances is upon us. 
Saturday night, Julianne Donovan will throw her fifth and most public Festivus party yet.
This year’s observance of the anti-holiday popularized by this episode of Seinfeld 10 years ago will take place at 8 p.m. at the Urban Living Center, 1705 Baltimore. A suggested donation of $5 gets you food and drink from Scrape the Plate catering and a chance to thumb-wrestle your way to a trophy. Proceeds from the event will go to AIDS research.
“If you come in and don’t give $5, then you’re a butthole and a grievance should be written about you,” Donovan says.
In preparation for Saturday, Donovan and friends have been designing thumb-wrestling costumes. “We have a lot of weird-looking thumb wrestling costumes that I’m very excited about,” Donovan says. Watch out for “the gimp with ball gag,” the creepy Grandma and the Hare Krishna. Donovan admits that the Krishna is “politically incorrect,” but he got his name “because he’s anatomically correct.”
“He has more than a flower to give you,” Donovan says.
This year, the winners of the feats-of-strength contest will take home “massive trophies,” Donovan says. The losers — just as in modern-day youth sports — will get “participant” ribbons. This year’s competitions include:
• Thumb wrestling
• Strongman, Yeah Right: a test of strength to see who can hold an 8-pound weight in his or her outstretched arm the longest
• Hipster Hula Hoop: a battle to see who can Hula-Hoop the longest while drinking, smoking or whatever hipsters do
• Chicken Limbo: a duel of contortionists to see how low you can go
• Pain H2O: an endurance test to determine who can hold his or her breath with a head in a bucket of ice water the longest
The night will culminate with the airing of grievances. “A lot of times, guests get a little pushy about it,” Donovan says. “They want to see what other people are saying.”
Until Saturday night, check out this admittedly “obnoxious” and horribly acted YouTube video inspired by The Neverending Story.
By NADIA PFLAUM
Intrepid reporters that we are, a crew of my coworkers and I checked out the atmosphere at Jared Allen’s Sports Arena bar on Southwest Boulevard. Since the news just broke that Allen’s destined to be a Minnesota Viking, I expected to see the waitstaff to be draping the flat-screens in black. Instead, there was a decent lunch crowd and everything appeared to be normal.
Chucky T, Q104 Country radio personality and owner of the sports bar, took our drink orders. When I asked him what he thought of the trade, he admitted that he was “pissed,” and blamed the entire ordeal on Chief’s president Carl Peterson. Chucky T, ignoring media reports that say the trade was Allen's idea, says that Peterson promised Allen that he could stay in KC, then reneged.
So will the bar be renamed? “Wine ‘em, dine ‘em, and 88 ‘em,” just doesn’t have the same ring. Chucky T told us that he’d keep the bar named for Allen for now, as a tribute, but that someday he might name it after himself.
As a tribute to Chucky T, I borrowed this photo from the photo wall in the lobby of the restaurant:
By JEN CHEN
Last Friday, Jared Allen's new bar had its grand opening. Located on Southwest Boulevard (in the former California Taqueria space), the bar serves up Jared Juice -- fruit punch and Everclear -- and sports the motto, “Wine ’Em, Dine ’Em, 69 ’Em."
Jared really likes his jersey number.
Going up or down?
That's not Gatorade in that bottle.
The ladies of Jared Allen's. Yee-haw!
The easily-fumbled Jared Juice container, next to a bill for size comparison. Try to resist the urge to spike it after downing the drink.
That's Jared!
By PETER RUGG
Photos by NADIA PFLAUM
On your way out of the Bodies Revealed exhibit at Union Station, as they spill you into the gift shop, a sign implores you to use what you’ve learned to make better health choices. The sign seems to reinforce what supporters, when faced with criticism about the source of the cadavers, have said about it having an educational value. But after touring the exhibit this morning, here’s the problem: It’s not that educational.
By CHRIS PACKHAM
Plog Week in Review
• Peter Rugg found good reason to hope that Union Station CFO M.A. Chaudry is passed over for the city manager position in Iowa City, Iowa, in favor of another candidate.
• V for Vendetta cosplay enthusiasts mounted a not-at-all ineffectual protest against Scientology as part of the Internet group Anonymous' worldwide demonstration. Nadia Pflaum got some video and interviewed participants.
• We looked at some local Bigfoot footage — recently taped but as blurry, choppy and indistinct as any oxidized 8-mm footage shot in the '50s and inappropriately stored in a cigar box at the back of a drawer.
• David Martin loves him some baseball and also some baseball blogging. Rany Jazayerli returns to the local baseball blogging scene just in time for training camp.
ON THE WAYWARD BLOG
• On Monday Music Junkie, Andy Vihstadt broke out a little R.E.M. Also: Philadelphia’s Man Man, Lyrics Born, the New Pornographers, Besnard Lakes and a good many others.
• Caleb Goellner went to see a Saosin show at The Granada and then wrote about it in his journal while sitting in a coffee shop smoking Gauloise Blondes and sipping a hot chai.
• Andrew Miller reviewed Marilyn Manson’s show at the Uptown Theater.
• Andrew Miller reviewed the hauntingly beautiful Troglodyte show at the Riot Room, which used to be the Hurricane.
By CHRIS PACKHAM
FRIDAY
• Meet the Feebles at Liberty Hall. Peter Jackson’s 1987 film about filthy puppets screens at 11:30 p.m. at Liberty Hall (644 Massachusetts in Lawrence, 785-749-1972) Do not bring children to this screening. Unless you hate children.
• The Carquest World of Wheels auto show at Bartle Hall (301 West 13th Street, 816-513-5000). From 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., check out hot rods, concept cars and customized motorcycles.
• The Also Rans with the Pink Socks at Davey's Uptown Ramblers Club (3402 Main, 816-753-1909). The show starts at 10 p.m.
SATURDAY
• These Streets Are Watching, a documentary about police accountability, screens at 5 p.m. at the Solidarity Revolutionary Center & Radical Library (1109 Massachusetts in Lawrence, 785-865-1374). Admission is free.
• UMKC vs. South Dakota State Kemper Arena (1800 Genessee). Tipoff at 7:05 p.m. Tickets cost $5 to $15.
• Galactic, Chali 2NA and Ohmega Watts at The Granada (1020 Massachusetts, Lawrence, Kansas, 785-842-1390).
SUNDAY
• The Main Street Rag poetry reading at the Writers Place (3607 Pennsylvania, 816-753-1090). A 7 p.m. poet’s showcase hosted by Shawn Pavey of the Main Street Rag, a literary journal. $5 donation requested.
• American Songwriter Tour II with the Wrights, Stephen Simmons, Jason Eady at Knuckleheads Saloon (2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456). The show starts at 8 p.m.; tickets cost $10.
• Heavy Frequency Awards V with At the Left Hand of God, Iron Guts Kelly, Seeking Surreal, 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. at the Overland Park Convention Center (6000 College Boulevard in Overland Park, 913 451-7400).
By CHRIS PACKHAM
• Nadia Pflaum attended Barack Obama’s campaign event in El Dorado, Kansas, where Obama lived as a child. This entry includes a frankly awesome photo of Obama with his mama.
• Jen Chen tracked the Broadway Cafe story across the national media. If only there were some sort of mythological or Biblical tale that summarized the story of a small guy defeating a massive giant in lopsided match-up. I’ll bet every newspaper and magazine would use it to describe the Broadway Cafe's victory over Starbucks.
• Some Obama campaign volunteers were detained by the Kansas City Police on Super Tuesday.
• Some fun was had with Photoshop and the Kansas City Star’s stable of pretty columnists.
• Author Steve Oakes embarked on a three-day fast in order to promote his book Three Cups of Tea: One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace, One School at a Time. That's the kind of thing David Blaine used to do when his mom wasn't giving him enough attention.
• Kay Barnes’ congressional campaign is underway, with the stupidest and most annoying ad her team could put together.
ON THE WAYWARD BLOG
• Butts were in the news.
• Trampled Under Foot took home the gold at the 24th Annual International Blues Challenge.
• Buckle Bunny Crystal K. Wiebe had the kind of rough weekend you remember fondly for years afterward. She documented the experience of drinking whiskey with Irish punk band Flogging Molly.
• Jason Harper documented Fat Tuesday at 18th and Vine.
• Kansas City muralist Scribe did a Hallmark commercial.
• On Monday Music Junkie, Andy Vihstadt exchanged friendship bracelets with Mos Def, lost a tickle fight with Talib Kweli, had a long, Victorian-style correspondence with Return to the Sea, spread Malcolm Middleton on a Triscuit and just ate him up, and dealt with a crapload of other musical-type people as well.
• Jason Harper could not be happier about Tom Petty's upcoming Sprint Center performance in July, unless they were handing out free hugs with every ticket. Not that the jackbooted corporate overlords at Ticketmaster are ever likely to hand out free hugs.
By CHRIS PACKHAM
FRIDAY
The Comedy Central Live Indecision 2008 Tour featuring Greg Giraldo comes to the Lied Center at KU (1600 Stewart Drive in Lawrence, 785-864-2787) tonight at 7:30. Admission is $7 ($5 for students).
The Young Friends of Art hold their Second Friday Happy Hour at the Museum Café at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, 4525 Oak. It’s open to everyone, and it’s a great way to meet young professionals.
SATURDAY
Jazz guitarist Norman Brown performs at the Uptown Theater at 7:30. Tickets start at $29.50.
Roman Numerals, Dark Circles and Nomathmatics play at the Record Bar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207) at 11 p.m.
Big Smith and Dallas Jones play at Knuckleheads Saloon (2715 Rochester, 816-483-1456) at 9:30 p.m.
SUNDAY
The Pro Bowl Beer Bust Fundraiser at Outabounds (3601 Broadway, 816-756-2577) benefits the Kansas City Storm women’s football team, starting at 5 p.m.
The Metropolitan Lawn & Garden show comes to the American Royal Center (1800 Genessee, 816-513-4000) from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Exhibited products and services include power equipment, statuary, trees, plants, and more. Local gardening experts are on-hand for demos and advice.
By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE
In The Pitch’s recent Cheapskate Edition, we touted the joys of bingo and cheap PBR on Tuesday nights at the Brick. Sadly, though the weekly Game Night will continue with free Wii bowling, bingo will be part of the activities only once a month — on the last Tuesday, for Customer Appreciation Night. That means a lot fewer opportunities to hear hot host Alicia Solombrino whisper “Oooooo-sixxxxxxxxty-niiiiiiiiiiine” into the mic.
She said it a lot the other night. Unfortunately, O-69 appeared on none of my four bingo cards. I didn’t get a bingo all night. But, really, when you’re swigging from a bottomless cup of PBR (all-you-can-drink for $5 between 6 and 10 p.m.) and chowing remarkably tasty 75-cent tacos, not winning a box of 100 gumballs doesn’t really faze you.
My friend Sarah won the best prize all night, but too late. We could have used the toy set of “FBI agent” accessories before bingo started, when the Brick was still a virtual bowling alley, thanks to the powers of Wii. The video game portion of Game Night used to be Guitar Hero, but a couple of weeks ago it got changed to Wii bowling. We heard all about that multiple times from some drunk dude in a stocking cap and a Reggie and the Full Effect hoodie who said he and his friends were responsible for bringing in Wii and extending the PBR special for two more hours. I won’t argue with additional beertime. And I’m glad that the Wii freaks now have a place to wear their homemade Wii league shirts.
But I do wish Sarah would have had that nightstick when the duder started petting our friend Marc’s shoes and cooing about how the leather must be Italian. Weird.
By ERIC BARTON
When Barack Obama asked the crowd yesterday in Kansas City whether there were any Cardinals fans in the audience, it first seemed like he had pulled one of those classic rock concert screw-ups by mixing up what town he was in.
But with his quick recovery, it was clear that the presidential hopeful was just giving the Royals shit. And let's be honest, David Glass' Royals deserve it.
By CHRIS PACKHAM
Dude, Friday night check out the puppets at Puppet Wars: Attack of the Felt at Fatso's (1016 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-550-7840). It's like a powerhouse team-up of dudes from the Felt Show and the Shitty Deal Puppet Theater, stickin' their hands up there and totally makin' it talk ... HA HA! That's what ... uh ... that's what I'm, uh, talking about. The show starts at 8 p.m.
At the VooDoo Lounge at Harrah's Casino (1 Riverboat Drive, 816-472-7777), Queensrÿche is gonna rock the frickin' house, blastin' out hits like "Silent Lucidity," "Take Hold of the Flame," and "Gonna Get Close to You." It might be out of style, but it's an old-school, heavy-metal blast to the face — at least that's what SHE — uh, yeah. Anyway. So that's stuff to do on Friday.
Saturday, Armenian-Canadian soprano Isabel Bayrakdarian performs at the Folly Theater (300 West 12th Street, 816-842-5500). Not my thing, but my mom's gonna be in town and I have to take her somewhere. She likes all that classical shit. When Bayrakdarian performed The Marriage of Figaro in San Diego, The Union Tribune said, "Soprano Isabel Bayrakdarian excelled as his beloved Susanna, bringing alluring expertise to the signature role that she had never before performed in San Diego." And I figure if the show's no good, I can just roll over and go to sleep ... which is totally what SHE. .. ah — what SHE would hate. My mom. Would hate it if I did that.
My second-choice show for mom was Vonda Shepard at the Uptown Theater (3700 Broadway, 816-753-7643). It's part of the Uptown Theater's 80th Anniversary Celebration. She's that chick who sang all that music on that lawyer TV show from back when I was in middle school, Ally McBeal. And at the end of every frickin' episode, she'd play a sad song and Ally McBeal would walk home all sad and alone. My mom would cry every time. That show was huge, man! It was frickin' mammoth. It was totally ridin' up there on top — uh, oh, boy. I'm just gonna move on.
Dude, I can't do any partying on Saturday while my mom's in town, but check it out: I traded shifts on Monday, and there's plenty of rock shows on Sunday night. Catch Meatflower, the Show Is the Rainbow, and Boo and Boo Too at the Record Bar (1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207); and Rumblejetts and the Grand Marquis at the Uptown Theater (3700 Broadway, 816-753-8665). In Lawrence, there's Kennedy Luck Club, the Noise FM and It's All About the Benjamins at the Jackpot Music Hall (943 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-832-1085). I asked Sheila if she wanted to come out with me, and she was totally like, sure, whatever you want, I'm easy. HA HA! That's what SHE said! No. I mean, verbatim. That's a direct quote. She said, "Sure, whatever you want, I'm easy." Quote, end-quote.
By CHRIS PACKHAM
FRIDAY
Stand-up comic and star of Budweiser commercials DC Benny plays tonight, Saturday and Sunday at Stanford and Sons (1867 Village West Parkway, Kansas City, Kansas, 913-385-3866).
People in other countries save their pennies for months, earning extra money by selling the charcoal they make from horse manure, just for the opportunity to go to the art museum. Thanks to the Ford Motor Company Fund, you get to look at art for free every Friday at Ford Free Fridays at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art (4525 Oak, 816-751-1278). The Ford Motor Company is also responsible for the Ford Mustang, as seen in promos for the new Knight Rider and also in the driveways of 16-year-old girls.
SATURDAY
Music!
Cory Branan, Chad Rex, City Mouse at the Replay Lounge 946 Massachusetts, Lawrence, 785-749-7676.
Connacht Town, the Belated, Kirsten Paludan Band, Another Holiday at 7 p.m. at the Record Bar 1020 Westport Road, 816-753-5207.
Connacht Town, Flannigan's Right Hook, the Kelihans at Davey's Uptown Ramblers Club, 3402 Main, 816-753-1909.
Abracadabras, the Wabash Cannonballs, the Kinetiks at The Brick, 1727 McGee, 816-421-1634.
SUNDAY
A Tribute to Gregory Hickman-Williams with Sons of Brazil at Jardine's (4536 Main, 816-561-6480). Local singer Gregory Hickman-Williams died last year at the age of 49; a singer's singer, he was relatively unknown outside of music circles. Now, a group of Kansas City jazz musicians is performing a show of some of his favorite songs. Catch Millie Edwards, David Basse, Gerald Spaits and Pamela Baskin-Watson and others tonight from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. And in the meantime, listen to the tribute to Hickman-Williams that aired today on KCUR.
Charlotte, North Carolina, literary quarterly The Main Street Rag sponsors a monthly poetry reading at the Writers Place (3607 Pennsylvania, 816-753-1090) every third Sunday at 7 p.m. with host Shawn Pavey, co-founder of the journal. And you're not getting out to enough live literary events. You see how well that works out?
By CHRIS PACKHAM
FRIDAY
Happy hour at La Bodega (703 Southwest Boulevard) features 50 percent off tapas, sangria, wines by the glass, well drinks, draft beer and domestic bottles. But the best part is that happy hour starts at 2 p.m., which is three or four hours earlier than most bars in Kansas City kick off their nights. It’s like a time machine that magically transports you from early afternoon at the office to Friday Night Drinkytown.
It would be easy to segue from that time-machine simile via a “flux capacitor” reference to Tom Wilson’s performance tonight at the comedy club at the Majestic Theaters (7430 Northwest 87th Street). But you know what? We’re not going to do it. Wilson has lived his entire adult life carrying Back to the Future baggage thanks to his brilliant comic performance as Biff Tannen, the trilogy’s heavy. Yes, he was an appropriately scary villain, what with the attempted date rape and the dark, charmless plot twists of the second film. But it’s hard to think of another actor who would have been quite that funny at the same time. He’s also an awesome stand-up comic. Wilson performs tonight, Saturday and Sunday. Call 816-587-4500 for details.
SATURDAY
Calamity Cubes, Tiny Tuxedo and Big Cat perform at the Jackpot Music Hall (943 Massachusetts, Lawrence). Destination Go, Voices, and Okay Thrill play at the Brick (1727 McGee). There is absolutely nothing else going on Saturday. Except the AVP Pro Beach Volleyball at the Sprint Center. And the Wide Open Bike Show at the 3 Trails Expo Center (8844 Hillcrest Road). And Tom Wilson at the Majestic. We really can’t overemphasize how funny he is onstage.
SUNDAY
Local author and UMKC writing teacher Michael Pritchett reads from his first novel, The Melancholy Fate of Capt. Lewis, at 6 p.m. at the Writers Place (3607 Pennsylvania). The author of a book of short stories, The Venus Tree, he spent six years researching and writing his book.
Tom Wilson performs at the Majestic. Funny, funny man.
Finally, If you’ve got the itch to retire and tour around the country in an RV, the Kansas City Sportshow comes to Bartle Hall (301 West 13th Street). The show features personal watercraft, RVs, ATVs and fishing accessories.
