Blogs

By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE

What's the most touching thing you can imagine running across with your mom on Mother's Day? How about the Midwest Bang Bus?

On Sunday afternoon on Frederick Avenue in St. Joseph, my family and I pulled up behind The Bang Bus. In the back window was the clever warning, "If she's a rocking don't cum a knocking." The case on the spare tire advertised Truckershos.com, "the truckers web site." The otherwise nondescript black van had Missouri plates. I wondered what the male driver had done for his mom that day. Did he take her for a ride in the Bang Bus?

Later, I checked out the Web site. Slogan: "If it's got tits or tires, it will give you problems." Too bad the site itself has little of either. There are some photos of gals in tight shirts and bikini tops but no actual nudity -- yet. Most of the site is still under construction, but its makers promise in an intro that live video, chatrooms, Web radio and games like Donkey Kong are all coming soon: "Our mission here at truckershos is to provide you, the trucker, with as many tools, information, and entertainment as possible to make life on the road as stress free as we can." What a relief.

By JEN CHEN

Roeland Park recently put up sculptures in its “Art in R Park” project. Created by Kansas City Art Institute students, the sculptures will be on display for six months before another crop of artwork goes up. The drive-by art is located in Carpenter Park and on Roe Boulevard, between Johnson Drive and I-35.

Click on the photo for a slideshow.

By NADIA PFLAUM

John Sebelius, the 23-year-old son of Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius, is following up the creation of his controversial board game, “Don’t Drop the Soap,” with a new clothing line called Gillius Inc. It sells at Hobbs at 700 Massachusetts in Lawrence, Kansas, and debuts at the Legends at Deegie’s Carma on May 17. He answered my questions recently in Lawrence.

Where did the idea for a clothing line come from?

That came in about a year ago. I always wore men’s dress shirts or nice polo patterns, and I saw that no one was really making anything I liked, so I started drawing on shirts for myself. I started wearing them out and every time I went out wearing a shirt, at least three or four people asked me where I got it. I kinda saw that maybe I had something here, so I started drawing on tons of shirts, drawing on blazers. I didn’t start the company to be eco-friendly, but I go to Salvation Armys and thrift stores, and all the clothing I sell is from stuff people are tired of. It’s in this trash pile of clothing and I buy it all up, wash it and design on that. So all the clothing is sort of green-friendly.

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By JEN CHEN

Bobby, from his high school yearbook

Earlier this week, The Kansas City Star’s Dan Margolies wrote this article about Robert Coughlin, the Pembroke Hill graduate who got embroiled in the Jack Abramoff scandal. Bobby, a high-ranking Justice Department official, supposedly accepted free meals and tickets from Abramoff’s firm. He pleaded guilty to a single count of conflict of interest.

Bobby and I were in the same class at Pembroke, and it’s always a little weird to hear about former classmates in the news. I barely knew him back in school, even though our graduating class had something like 78 people in it. Until the news broke, I had no idea that his grandfather was a big political guy in New Hampshire. Or that his sister’s a musician. Back in high school, he was the swaggering letter-jacket-wearing popular guy, and I was the awkwardly shy orchestra nerd, so we didn’t really interact.

My one memory of him from school was the time he kind of pushed someone into me. We were in choir together, and as we rehearsed walking onto the stage in a single-file line, I passed by him. He grabbed the guy next to him and gave him a quick shove in my direction. No contact was made, but it’s just the one thing that stands out for me about him – the typical high school memory that seemed like a significant affront at the time but means nothing now. And yeah, who really wants to be remembered for their high school selves? Well, plenty of people still do, I guess.

I remember thinking he was all right by the time senior year rolled around. Then, finally, it was graduation. That was the last I saw of him. The guy I sat nearby during assemblies (thanks, alphabetization system) remained a stranger.

By CAROLYN SZCZEPANSKI

Last night, the Americans for Prosperity brought itsHot Air Tour to Kansas City, promising free rides in a 70-foot balloon to raise awareness about “Global Warming Alarmism.”

Annie Patnaude, a spokesperson for the national group that advocates free-market and small government, told us that AFP isn’t saying climate change is a hoax. “We just want to have a real debate,” she said, about how carbon-cutting legislation could impact Americans’ freedom – and more importantly, their wallets.

Because of the wind, they didn’t get airborne. But we did snap a few photos. Click here to view a slideshow.

By PETER RUGG

The Pitch — along with, apparently, every other media outlet in town — received an e-mail Tuesday for a free family portrait by photographer Michael T. Van De Carr at Temptations, a strip club downtown on Grand.

So this afternoon, I was joined by the Ginger Man and a resident women’s objectification expert – we’ll call her Cassandra — to scout the downtown gentlemen’s club. By the appointed time of 12:30, there were only a few, lightly perspiring men in dark suits waving placards with random slogans — and no one had taken the bait for free photos. There was one tall man with a fat digital camera, though unfortunately, he carried no Olan Mills-style backdrops. Disheartened, we got a table at Willie’s, where we could lean out the long, open windows and wait for something to happen.

Not much did, except for a circle jerk involving the local TV-news crews that did show up and a waxing crowd of the anti-strip-club crowd (captured in the photo below).

But no one except The Pitch, with this blog item, actually publicized the event beforehand. And even we were only a few hours ahead. So it seems reasonable that few Temptations regulars even knew about the sting.

By 1 p.m., the crowd started to disperse. We’d expected them to go at least an hour or at least wait for someone to come to the club. Cassandra and I jumped through the window and ran toward the crowd, holding hands so that they might assume we were a couple.

“I don’t want to be respected!” she said. “And how about the First Amendment?”

“I love watching tities! Let’s go watch some tits!” I said.

Unfortunately, they didn’t tell us about the error of our ways or offer to take a picture. Maybe it’s because we didn’t have a child with us. One man did tell us to have a blessed day, though.

We did go into Temptations to see if they’d barricaded themselves in, like the losing side in the last days of a war waiting out the artillery shells. But aside from one Amazonian bartender, a waitress and a security guard near the stage, the place was empty. There wasn’t even a dancer performing. Next door at the Cigar Box, the hostess told us the Christians had been taking photos of people’s parked cars and shots of the drivers getting out when they could. Perhaps they’ll be circulated later on a Web site, to shame them for parking within 30 feet of a place that, later today, will feature topless women.

“It’s all right though,” the hostess told us. “We just put on the music really loud and blasted them out. They left pretty soon.”

By CAROLYN SZCZEPANSKI

Traffic reporters have been sowing dread among area commuters for weeks now, warning Kansas City residents to avoid the Paseo Bridge at all costs. This week, the Missouri Department of Transportation started a massive construction project that will replace the old bridge that carries interstates 35 and 29 over the Big Muddy. The project won’t be complete until 2011, turning the river crossing into a headache of closed lanes and construction equipment for years to come.

The helpful folks at MoDOT, though, wanted to make sure that any ignorant visitor or obstinate Northlander knows what they're in for as they head south on I-35 into downtown Kansas City. So they put up a billboard, complete with bold lettering and bright-orange, traffic tape. But this state agency, apparently, has a poor grasp of human relations and effective marketing.

They didn’t put up a nice image of a friendly guy in a hard hat asking motorists to be patient while their tax dollars are at work. Nope, they suggest anyone who dares to tread near the old Paseo Bridge is, well, pretty darn stupid. So, when you’re chugging along at 10 miles-per-hour cursing the construction, try to swallow your road rage by chewing on this little mockery from MoDOT.

By NADIA PFLAUM

Dave Kemp, the co-owner of Perk-Up!, a newly opened coffee and snack shop at 11th Street and Grand, swears that he isn’t a lawsuit-happy guy. It just so happens that the forces of corporate coffee are conspiring against him, and he’s going to fight. He has espresso (“pure Tuscan joy,” reads the menu) and feisty entrepreneurial spirit on his side.

Kemp opened his second local shop downtown shop four months ago. (The first is at 11823 College Boulevard in Overland Park.) Two months ago, he poked his head into a Starbucks and was floored by a promotional flier on the wall. “Perk Up!” it read, along with a
picture of a cup of coffee with a curlicue of steam rising from it. Kemp thought the layout of the flier looked awfully familiar — just like the artwork he’d registered and copyrighted as his snack shop’s logo. He snapped a picture with his camera phone and paid a visit to his attorney.

“We served them with a cease-and-desist order,” Kemp says of Starbucks. “Had they ceased and desisted, we wouldn’t have made a big deal about it.”

Now Kemp, through his attorney, is in settlement negotiations with Starbucks. The corporate coffee chain has put two offers on the table, and though either would let Kemp retire a rich man, they’re not up to the number that Kemp and his lawyer have in mind (which Kemp says he can’t let us reveal in print).

“Honestly, I know this sounds goofy, but our intent wasn’t to do this for the money,” Kemp says. “Our intent was to show the big boys they can’t push the little guys around all the time. But now that the money’s come along with that, I’m OK with that.”

Starbucks has until August 7 to arrive at a number Kemp likes.
If Starbucks and Kemp don’t reach an agreement, the matter will go to a federal arbitrator to decide.

By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE

Before debuting its new line of celebrity martinis to the public, the Brick included some favorite patrons in a special taste test. On the menu: 12 vodka drinks featuring such flavors as Ginger Peach, Lemon Mint and Blueberry Pomegranate. Taste testers wrote down their comments and suggested which national or local celebrity each drink should be named for. The new martini menu comes out on Friday.

Click here for a slideshow.

By Justin Kendall

The season for the airing of grievances is upon us. Saturday night, Julianne Donovan will throw her fifth and most public Festivus party yet.

This year’s observance of the anti-holiday popularized by this episode of Seinfeld 10 years ago will take place at 8 p.m. at the Urban Living Center, 1705 Baltimore. A suggested donation of $5 gets you food and drink from Scrape the Plate catering and a chance to thumb-wrestle your way to a trophy. Proceeds from the event will go to AIDS research.

“If you come in and don’t give $5, then you’re a butthole and a grievance should be written about you,” Donovan says.

In preparation for Saturday, Donovan and friends have been designing thumb-wrestling costumes. “We have a lot of weird-looking thumb wrestling costumes that I’m very excited about,” Donovan says. Watch out for “the gimp with ball gag,” the creepy Grandma and the Hare Krishna. Donovan admits that the Krishna is “politically incorrect,” but he got his name “because he’s anatomically correct.”

“He has more than a flower to give you,” Donovan says.

This year, the winners of the feats-of-strength contest will take home “massive trophies,” Donovan says. The losers — just as in modern-day youth sports — will get “participant” ribbons. This year’s competitions include:

• Thumb wrestling

• Strongman, Yeah Right: a test of strength to see who can hold an 8-pound weight in his or her outstretched arm the longest

• Hipster Hula Hoop: a battle to see who can Hula-Hoop the longest while drinking, smoking or whatever hipsters do

• Chicken Limbo: a duel of contortionists to see how low you can go

• Pain H2O: an endurance test to determine who can hold his or her breath with a head in a bucket of ice water the longest

The night will culminate with the airing of grievances. “A lot of times, guests get a little pushy about it,” Donovan says. “They want to see what other people are saying.”

Until Saturday night, check out this admittedly “obnoxious” and horribly acted YouTube video inspired by The Neverending Story.

By NADIA PFLAUM

AWKWARD!

There's a curious pairing of billboards on the east side of Wornall between 84th and 85th streets. The first is one of those familiar neon-colored signs advertising an upcoming gun show. But right next to it is a PSA from Project Safe Neighborhoods against gun violence.

I called CBS Outdoor to ask if the positioning of the billboards was on purpose. A woman named Kitty told me, "I believe it's a coincidence — I'm going to check it out."

As for Project Safe Neighborhoods, the person in charge of the Midwestern division PSA department is out of the office until April 21. When she gets back, I hope someone tells her that her Wornall and 85th Street billboard gave them more bang for their buck. Har.

By PETER RUGG

We’re getting closer to Tuesday’s vote on the city smoking ban, and almost everyone who’s visited their favorite dive bar in the last month has seen those “Vote No on Question 3” signs. As someone who’s struggled with my own nicotine demons, I can appreciate the city wanting to protect me from myself. But Kansas City, it turns out, isn’t big on smoking anyway.

Out of 16 metro areas, Kansas City is ranked 13th in the percentage of people who smoke, according to a study by the Pittsburg Regional Indicator project. About 19 percent in the metro smoke, compared to the No. 1 smokiest city, Detroit, where 26 percent of residents smoke.

The study also found that Kansas City led the nation in the number of smokers who quit. From 2003 to 2006, 26 percent of the metro’s smokers gave it up. Maybe they saw a sign of things to come.

By CHARLES FERRUZZA

Last week, Egg McMuffin inventor Herb Peterson died at age 89 in his Santa Barbara home.

This brought back a wave of nostalgia. For many years my idea of the perfect breakfast was a cup of black coffee, a granola bar and a Marlboro Light. Then I went through a phase where I started each morning with an Egg McMuffin. They’re only 300 calories and so convenient: There’s a McDonald’s a couple of blocks from my house, and the employees at the drive-through window didn’t seem to mind that I looked like the unshaven, bleary-eyed wrath of God as I paid for my fast-and-easy breakfast and got the hell out of there.

After a couple of weeks, I decided I didn’t like Egg McMuffins either. The English muffins are too chewy (there were a couple of mornings I felt I was gnawing through jerky), the Canadian bacon is too salty and the fried egg tends to be rubbery. So I gave them up too.

But the news of Peterson’s death made me crave one. I drove over to my neighborhood McD’s and ordered one and ate it in the car. It was still terrible.

Later that morning, I got an e-mail from my college friend Slim, who was also waxing nostalgic about the McMuffin. We were sophomores the year that McDonald’s rolled out the McMuffin concept to all of it national franchisees. Slim insisted that the sandwich wasn’t just a great hangover remedy -- it never worked that way for me, by the way – but that it had been tastier back in the 1970s.

“I’m telling you that they were good then,” he e-mailed me. “Now they taste like plastic.”

This is the same friend who still insists that Twinkies tasted different during that era and that Hostess Sno-Balls were fluffier and that Long John Silver’s fried fish was – in his words -- as good as anything you’d find on the streets of London.

“It’s all the chemicals and artificial ingredients and processed stuff they put in everything now,” he wrote. “Why else would everything have tasted better in the 1970s?”

I wrote back: The drugs, maybe?

His response? “Those were better back then too!”

By JEN CHEN

Deadlines, social obligations and lack of TiVo sometimes interfere with my TV-watching ways, and sadly, I’ve missed the last two episodes of The Real Housewives of New York City. But really, in the grand scheme of things, I’m pretty sure that haven’t missed all that much. My favorite character – former Fort Scott resident Alex McCord – is still annoying and pretentious (and still doesn’t own a comb). Gawker has an excellent write-up of last night’s episode, as does the blog Scented Glossy Magazines. And Gawker also drops the scary suggestion that naked Alex pictures might possibly be floating around out there.

Oh, and “gorgons” is my new favorite word.

By NADIA PFLAUM

When I was in high school, video cameras were still large, heavy and required Dad's permission to borrow.

But since digital video cameras became affordable and cuter than shit, every bored, suburban teenager seems to have one. And while there are undoubtedly thousands of budding Kubricks out there making mind-blowing films, there are also thousands of kids filming each other's minds being blown.

So while experimenting with drugs, as bored, suburban teenagers are wont to do, they can film each other tweaking out. Later, when they upload it all onto YouTube, they end up outing themselves on the 'net, thereby educating us old folks about what the kids are up to these days.

Interestingly, the most creative ways of getting high aren't even illegal in most states. There's a plant called Salvia divinorum that looks like mint, but has no distinct smell. When smoked, it produces a brief-but-intense high that includes hysterical laughing and inexplicable hallucinating. Sound fun?

I thought so too, until I saw this guy.

He is SO grounded.

Salvia was deemed a Schedule 1 hallucinogen in Missouri in 2005. It's still legal in Kansas, but just today, Senate Bill 481 passed the Kansas House and is on its way to becoming law.

"Robotripping" is the other not-at-all-new, legal substance that you and the hot girl from Econ are guzzling by the bottleful on YouTube. I remember kids talking about the 'Tussin back in high school, but it never seemed that appealing to me. Maybe this next video, posted by someone from Lawrence, is why.

Some people might find these videos immensely entertaining, but these kids' moms probably don't. Just a tip, kiddos: After you're done rewinding and watching and laughing at your friends drooling and rolling around on the floor, press ERASE.