Beltran, before and after.
This week's guest post is from Chris McCown, former contributor with Future Considerations and current contributor to MetsGeek. I asked him to write about Carlos Beltran, who -- not Johnny Damon -- is the Five-Tool Star The Royals Let Get Away.
-Chris Rasmussen
Other Chris asked me here today to talk about Carlos Beltran. As a Mets fan (ducks tomatoes), I’ve been asked to remind you lot what it is like to have Carlos Beltran on your team (more dodging). I’m not getting paid (throwing ceases), unlike Carlos (resumes). Chris did offer me “hypothetical offspring from his next relationship”, which, as he is a blogger, I immediately just assumed was either Americana and Conspiracy Of One, or a street term for whatever they found in Jose Guillen’s locker last season.
Having Carlos Beltran on your team is, I imagine, about what it was like being the first man on your block to own a microwave. “Oh you had to spend all day on the stove with those leftovers? Well, I just kinda popped them in and pushed 60.”
Most are envious, some are jealous, particularly if they have a column in a prominent New York newspaper. Despite the inevitable haters, one thing that Beltran can allow any fan to do is to simply relax. Mets fans, especially after last year’s collapse, are really appreciative of having to worry about as little as possible. When a ball is hit to center field, the only thing we have to worry about is whether it will stay in the yard or not, because if it doesn’t, it’s coming down in Carlos’ huge glove.
It hits, it steals, it plays gold glove defense, it makes it all look easy! Billy Mays could sell Carlos Beltran to you, were it not for the matter that “just seven easy payments of $17 million!” isn’t really much of a sales pitch. There is only one thing I really dislike about having Carlos Beltran patrol center field for the Mets: the sheer amount of defending him I have to do to other Mets fans.
It’s the Adam Wainwright curveball, it’s the poor start to his Mets career in 2005, Shea Stadium depressing his counting stats with its imposing size. But most importantly, it’s just the amount of ease of which everything comes to him. How effortless everything can look.
Most baseball fans grew up, at some point, playing baseball. Whether you flamed out in college or couldn’t even be better than the Russ Branyan of your local little league team, like this author. We’re always taught that we have to hustle, we have to run out the ground balls, we have to be David Eckstein. Watching someone with the graceful stride of Beltran, the crack of the ball off his bat, the speed that he can generate without so much as a little twist of the hips, it’s really just not fair. He drives some Mets fans mad just because they think, if they had his talent to go with their work ethic, they could hit .400 with 50 homers every year.
And maybe they’re right, but they sure are taking the fun out of baseball by projecting so much on to him. Baseball is a sport. It’s supposed to be fun. And if you can’t watch Carlos play baseball without enjoyment, might I suggest the Food Network? I hear they love preparing stuff on the stove still.
Just checking, is this Stream of Consciousness Day or Guest Take Day? Wow.
Posted at: July 22, 2008 10:08 AM