Ensuring the Music Editor's Future Financial Stability
A Brief Conversation at Pitch HQ:
From: Jason Harper, music editor
To: Chris Packham, assistant calendar editor
Subject: I have a plan!
>>> 4/26/2007 2:07 PM >>>
Marry Norah Jones.
Shouldn't be too difficult to manage.
>>> Chris Packham 4/26/2007 2:13 PM >>>
Wait, what problem does this solve, exactly? Your lack of subdued jazz songs performed without enthusiasm? By the admittedly cute daughter of Ravi Shankar?
Narrator: Does Harper stand a chance!? No! But you should still FOLLOW THAT LINK!
Come away with me, Geethali.
>>> Jason Harper 4/26/2007 2:07 PM >>>
Not having a rich, beautiful wife. What are you talking about? You dissin' on my girl? I know what you mean, though. I've been telling her to collaborate with Rubin or the Dust Brothers, but she knows her audience, you know?
>>> Chris Packham 4/26/2007 2:28 PM >>>
Well, no one is better positioned to romance Norah Jones. You're both kind of in the music field. I bet you can strike up an email correspondence.
Wait -- Mr. Sean P. Diddy Combs might be better positioned to romance Norah Jones than you. Although, he's not in the music business. I mean, sure, he puts out albums now and then, but it's the same way that the Bureau of Labor Statistics puts out a 900-page analysis of the American employment landscape. Nobody reads the fucking thing. What you need is a lack of talent, and a lot of money. Each morning, while standing in front of the mirror, recite the following P. Diddy verse:
"Young, black and famous
with money hangin'
out the anus"
(From Sean P. Puff Diddy Daddy Combs' "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down")
>>> Jason Harper 4/26/2007 3:35 PM >>>
I'll try that. But I think the main suitor of Norah's I need to be worried about is Blandford Marsalis, of the mighty Marsalis All-Male Modern Jazz Family(c), son of the unnatural coupling of Branford Marsalis and Peter Dennis Blandford Townshend (while the latter was recording the ill-fated Psychoderelict concept album, no less), and the deadliest jazz trombonist since Jiggs Whigham.
>>> Chris Packham 4/26/2007 4:39 PM >>>
Hey, can I post this exchange as a Plog?
>>> Jason Harper 4/26/2007 4:44 PM >>>
No.
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