The Werewolves of Warrensburg
By CRYSTAL K. WIEBE
Since I was already headed clear out to Lee's Summit last Friday for a zombie art show, trekking 35 more miles to Warrensburg for a Kosher concert seemed like a good enough idea. Before my friend Kenton and I left, Harper wished us good times in Werewolfsburg. I thought he was just making a reference to 'Burg band Super Black Market’s sweet Teen Wolf-inspired video. But the nickname also reflects what happens in that town after dark – people get crazy.
Of course, I already knew that. Massive drinking, late night brawls, punk rock and cops are frequent themes in the stories I’ve heard about partying in Warrensburg. For some reason that made me want to go there all the more.
The bar at Bottomfeeder Bay
Our massive drinking began with rum-and-fruit smoothies provided by SBM drummer Joseph Remlinger, our host and tour guide for the night. Three healthy-looking drinks later, we all had a nice buzz going, so we hit the pavement outside the Corner Cafe. Everything in downtown Warrensburg is walkable, and our next stop was a new club called Bottomfeeder Bay. On the way, Joe's friends insisted that we stop for a minute in alley -- Mark wanted to break a bottle over his head. He was testing a suggestion from the other friend, Brian, that if you shake a bottle with a penny in it, a hole will form, and then you can break the bottle over your head without getting hurt. Sure enough, the bottle shattered, and Mark seemed fine.
So, we rounded the corner and entered Bottomfeeder Bay. True to its name, the club has a seafaring theme. There's a creepy-looking mermaid carved into the bar, and the kitchen serves Cajun food. Other good things about the Bay: (1) You can smoke out of a hookah there and (2) they sell 40 oz. bottles of malt liquor and/or beer for five bucks. I grabbed a 40 of High Life to split between me and my friend Kenton. Meanwhile, Kosher kicked off its latest in a series of reunion shows.
We had to move to the back of the room to avoid the mosh pit started by Tattooed Shirtless Guy. As it turns out, he was the most interesting person to watch. After heaving his body around for a while, he started heaving puke into the corridor by the bathrooms that connected the bar and the restaurant area. As he spewed red chunks and fluid all over the floor, most of the crowd turned to watch him. Drunk Idiot #2 missed the action, though, and -- in the 45 seconds it took the staff to clean up -- walked right through the puddle and slipped. The fact that he didn't actually fall into the puke bummed us out a little.
Kosher cranked the old school pop punk for about 40 minutes, with various audience members climbing on stage to sing along. I wish I could have, but I didn't know any of the words. And then, the band was singing a song called "Goodbye," and the show was over. We all stumbled back onto the street to an afterparty.
With most of that 40 in my system, things get a little hazy from there. And I woke up in the morning with mysterious bruises on my arm. Maybe a werewolf attacked me in my sleep.
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