James McMurtry's "Choctaw Bingo" and the Good Kind of Incestual Lust
The great thing about havin' me a blog is that when I'm just cooking along editing shit and downloading pictures of dinosaurs and cavegirls and eating tortillas (you know, the usual workday stuff) and I'm stopped dead in my tracks by some song I ain't heard before is that I can post it up here and wax a bit and generally avoid doing real work.
So, today, I opened a package, and this ugly little sucker fell out:
I didn't even know there was a new Toby Keith Mainstream Middle American Entertainment Vehicle coming out, but here was the soundtrack for it. Luckily, I didn't put it on the slush pile. See, I've been auditioning Keith and other pop-country artists for my guilty pleasures index, and I thought I'd give this a spin. After all, James McMurtry contributed a song as the token literary liberal, so that at least would be good. Little did I know.
After the opening eponymous duet by Keith and Willie Nelson -- a fun but overproduced throwaway that sounds like it makes use of AutoTune (bleh!) -- followed by "Off the Hillbilly Hook," a rappy crapper by Trailer Choir that inexplicably steals the guitar riff from Heart's "Magic Man;" then the from-the-old-litterbox "Cat Scratch Fever;" then a quizzical song called "La Di Da" written and performed by character actress Gina Gershon; I heard a nasal, gravely voice cackle and say:
"We'll start this next set with a song about the North Texas Southern Oklahoma crystal methamphetamine industry."
I stopped typing, sat up.
Strumming on electric guitars that sound like they were soaked in Mark Knopfler's coffee for three days, James McMurtry and his backing band, the Heartless Bastards, slide into a fucking amazing, 8:34-minute live version of "Choctaw Bingo." The lyrics -- an epic narrative about dingy people and dirty places all around Texas and the lower midwest -- are sly and unrelenting, sung in a cadence that recalls the verse from "Come Together" by the Beatles. The best part concerns a couple of fictional (I assume) ladies from our part of the country:
Ruth Ann and Lynne come down from
Baxter Springs, that’s one hell-raisin town way up in
Southeastern Kansas, got a biker bar next to the
lingerie store that’s got the Rolling Stones lips up there in
bright pink neon, and they right downtown where every-
one can see ’em, and they burn all night, you know they
burn all night, you know they burn all night...
Ruth Ann and Lynne, they wear them cutoff britches
and them skinny little halters and they’re second cousins to me,
man, I don’t care, I wanna get between 'em with a
great big ol’ hard on like an old bois d’arc fence post you could
hang a pipe-rail gate from, do some
sister twisters 'til the cows come home, and we'll be
havin' us a time, havin’ us a time…
Now that, I can get behind.
For all I know, this is McMurtry's signature song, and every outlaw country smartypants west of the Misspissi has heard it, but it's new to me. And if it's new to you, to, then, by all means, share in my wicked newfound joy.
MP3: James McMurtry, "Choctaw Bingo (live)" from the Beer for My Horses soundtrack
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