Kansas City Blog

So did it? Kind of. There was one big problem: MMJ played for two and a half freaking hours. For the jam-band crowd, I’m sure this was a gift from the patchouli-scented Gods. But for the rest of us, it was simply too much. I don’t need “an evening” with anybody but my girlfriend or Bruce Springsteen. Ninety minutes is perfectly fine, thank you.

All the tracks I already loved – “Off the Record,” “Anytime,” “One Big Holiday” and “Touch Me I’m Going to Scream Pt. 1” for example – sounded perfectly great, with Jim James and company turning out invigorated, no-worse-for-the-wear renditions. But the momentum was compromised by the inclusion of snoozers like “Smokin from Shootin” and a bunch of back-catalog numbers that I never had the patience for in the first place. Gimme the money shot, boys!

Self-righteous bitching aside, MMJ still sounds amazing live. Jim James’ voice is pure manna from Bonaroo heaven, and he can play the shit out of his electric git-tar (as can that other guy … ol’ what’s-his-name … Carl Broemel). Long-haired sticksman Patrick Hallahan doesn’t do anything too flashy, but he’s fun as hell to watch, and I’m pretty sure Black Sabbath wants their drummer back. There was probably a bassist and keyboardist as well, and given that I barely noticed them, they probably did their jobs with commendable aplomb.

Five memorable moments:

• Jim James disappears offstage and surfaces 30 seconds later in the stage-right box seats. He jams a wicked guitar solo and waves to the balcony, which responds enthusiastically. This antediluvian Mick Jagger stuff still makes people go batshit.

• Jim James takes the stage wearing a cape. He dons the cape at various other junctures of the show, looking every bit the part of a shaggy-haired guy in a cape. The Phantom of the Opera schtick suits him much better than this.

• The breakdown in the opening number “Evil Urges,” when the strobe lights go off and James and Broemel rip a twin guitar solo while running back and forth across the stage and spinning in circles. This turns out to be oodles more exciting than the other 2,345,763 times the strobe lights go off. The guy sitting next to me will eventually go to his car to get sunglasses.

• James compliments Kansas City on its very nice theater, which is distinguished by its “attention to detail and color.” I bet he says this to all the theaters he sleeps with.

• James goes all Robert Pollard and spins the microphone and catches it just before the lights dim. I bet he’s still rubbing it in Broemel’s face.

Truth be told, “Highly Suspicious” was kind of fun. The instrumental section jams, and the whole thing comes off like a goofball take on The Wall. I can appreciate that kind of humor from a band like MMJ, which also goofs on lyrics about sexy librarians and the “interwebs.” If they had taken an intermission to hand out some peanut-butter pudding surprise, I might even have enjoyed the whole two and a half hours. Ah well, close enough.

Critic’s bias: They didn’t give me a +1, which meant I had to sit all by my lonesome and feel grouchy. Plus, I only ate a salad for dinner and that never holds me.

Random detail: The Apple Market is gone. OH NO! WHERE WILL GET OUR DIET DR. PEPPER AND BEEF JERKY???!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

By the way: The two projected eyeballs on the backdrop of the stage made for one of the better rock-show visuals I’ve seen in a long time. When the five red circles lit up underneath the eyeballs, I imagined the Uptown Theater going OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.