An Analysis of Hank Williams Jr.'s "McCain-Palin Tradition"
By CHRIS RASMUSSEN
John McCain is floundering. Worse yet, his rallies struggle to find the correct music. The Foo Fighters, Heart, John Mellencamp, Van Halen, Gretchen Peter and even the demographically appropriate Frankie Valli have all asked the Republican candidates to stop playing their music at McCain/Palin rallies.
So what to do? Awkward silence does not fire up the base, while songs in the public domain, such as “Hail! Hail! The Gang’s All Here” or “My Gal Sal!” are unlikely to fire a crowd into a nativist rage.
Happily, Hank Williams Jr. — who, apparently, is still alive — penned a new tune for the McCain campaign, as his previously unreleased work for the Bush-04’ campaign (“Are You Ready For Some Torture!”) is probably inappropriate for today’s GOP standard-bearer.
Here’s a clip of the very real song, with analysis of the song’s lyrics after the jump.
"McCain - Palin Tradition"
By Hank Williams Jr.
VERSE #1
The left wing liberal media have
Always been a real close knit family
(Ed note: Remarkable admission by Mr. Williams Jr. and the McCain campaign. Are they ceding the family value issues to the Democrats? Further, let's point out that I do consider my brethren in the Democratic Party as a tight-knit family. Although not Katrina Vanden Heuvel or Rep. Stephanie Herseth. My thoughts toward those family members would be, by definition, incestuous. That said, I do want Al Franken to visit or call me more often.)
But, most of the American People
Don't believe em anyway ya see
(Ed. note: Not true, as indicated by any poll numbers published by any news organization. A side note: when the GOP and Fox News can no longer describe themselves as representing "real Americans" after a massive blowout, can we call them foreign and unpatriotic when they criticize a President Obama in these troubled times? Why does Sean Hannity undermine us in the War on Terror and why does he hate America?)
Stop and think it over
Before you make your decision
If they smell something
They're gonna come down strong
(Ed. note: Now, do Democrats govern by a sense of smell? That would make Barney Frank either a komodo dragon or in the first trimester of pregnancy, or both. Which strangely makes sense.)
It's a McCain - Palin tradition.
Now this old Union's got problems
That is plain to see
(Ed. note: A very surprising admission to hear from a GOP rally, putting the singer in the vast majority of Americans who think America is "on the wrong track." One could argue those who believe we are on the right track have no need for "money," "jobs" or "food," but McCain has already alienated Paris Hilton, thereby discrediting this theory.)
The Democrats bankrupted Fannie Mae 'n Freddie Mac
Just like 1, 2, 3
(If they did bankrupt them, the correct order would be 3, 2, 1. But I'm being pedantic.)
The bankers didn't want to make all those bad loans,
But Bill Clinton said you got to
(Ed. note: This doesn't make any sense at all. Lenders didn't want to make all those bad loans, but a former President — years after leaving office — required them to lend? I mean, I'm all for hyperbole in song lyrics, but I have to say that some simple understanding of the dynamics of the lending marketplace should be mandatory for any aspiring songwriter. Paul Simon didn't become an expert in the commercial paper market or the LIBOR rate by accident, you know.)
Now they want a bail out, what I'm talking about
Is a Democrat liberal who do
(Ed. note: Please note that not only did Congressional Democrats and Obama reluctantly support a bailout, but so did John McCain, a Republican Treasury Secretary and President Bush, who also helped bring the Socialist Revolution to our shores. So, in fact, did every CNBC analyst, whose political ideology went from "government is the problem and not the solution" to "please help us, daddy" in just three weeks.)
CHORUS:
John 'n Sarah tell ya
Just what they think
(Ed. note: Yes, they do, as long as they don't have to answer questions and as long as you don't pay attention to sentence structure.)
And they're not gonna blink
(Ed note: Not true. Have you seen John McCain at a debate? Dude blinks more than a meth addict with a dry contact lens.)
And they're gonna fix this country
'Cause they're just like you 'n ole Hank
(Ed: What's with the "'n" stuff? Are Republicans are now against spelling out the word A-N-D because that would be elitist?)
Yes John is a maverick
And Sarah fixed Alaska's broken condition
(Ed: What also helped Alaska's "broken condition?" A massive increase in revenue caused by a commodity price spike and massive governmental intervention that resulted from same. Oh, and also earmarks . Lots and lots of earmarks.)
They're gonna do just fine
We're headed for better times
(Ed: As opposed to the Dark Days of The Bush Administration, which has nothing to do with anything. Stop living in the past, my friends. And by that, I mean stop living in the present.)
It's a McCain - Palin tradition
VERSE #2
I am very proud of America's name
But no society is perfect
And we have had our stains
(Ed: I'm tired of radicals like Hank Williams, Jr. admitting that America has stains. What stains is he referring to? I mean, according to Rush Limbaugh, Gitmo is like a resort and Abu Grahib was like a fraternity prank. I believe Williams and many conservatives might be referring to What They Believe Is The Worst Thing To Happen To The Republic, which involved Monica Lewinsky, the stains of which were not taken to the dry cleaners for removal.)
If I'm down at the coffee shop and
Somebody wants to give our flag friction
We say please move on
Cause we're standing strong
That's an old John McCain tradition
(Ed: I've drank at numerous coffee shops and no one has ever attempted to rub up against an American flag repeatedly. That's just gross.)
(REPEAT CHORUS)
VERSE #3
Some are bound to tell you I'm
Preaching to the choir
And that is very true
(Ed: Shocking self-awareness from Hank, Jr. here. Yes, you are preaching to the choir — a bitter, angry, bloodthristy, paranoid choir.)
And we are going even higher
Like a mama bear in Idaho
She'll protect your family's condition
(Ed: Like a mama bear in Idaho, Sarah Palin does not think well on her feet. Unlike a mama bear in Alaska, Sarah Palin will not be shot from a helicopter with a high-powered rifle.)
If you mess with her cubs
She's gonna take off the gloves
It's an American female tradition
(Ed: A bear in Idaho will give birth one or two children in a litter, which, much like Palin’s granddaughter, will all also be born out of wedlock after events which never, ever may be described or interpreted as a choice.)
REPEAT CHORUS
Comments (23) 
Write Comment
Email to Friend
Print Article
