Kansas City Blog

Chumbawumba, "Tubthumping"

To thosewho have been knocked down, this is that annoying "he drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink..." song. To those who have been knocked down but gotten up again, it's still bloody annoying. Blar!

George Thorogood & the Destroyers, "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer"

Another song that features one person consuming a series of different drinks (see above), which the surgeon general does not recommend you do. However, if you're George Thorogood and your guitar sounds like a bunch of strings stretched over an electrified metal box and you could crack open a beer bottle on your teeth and you're out of a job and bad to the bone, well, you can drink whatever you damn well want. Just be epic about it, and make sure your sax player is equipped with maracas.

Metallica, "Whiskey in the Jar"

I remember when Metallica's cover of the classic Irish drinking song came out on the radio, but I had no idea the video for it was some lameass Girls Gone Wild slutty extras houseparty. Awful. Oh well, we're too drunk to care. WHISKEY IN THE JAR-O-AH!

Frank Sinatra, "One For My Baby"

We can't have a discussion of drunk songs without an entry from the Chairman. This may be his best bibulous ballad ever. Set 'em up, Joe.

David Frizzell, "I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home"

"We'll take out the dining room table/Put a bar along that wall/And a neon sign that'll point the way/To the bathroom down the hall." To quote the Band: a drunkard's dream if I ever did see one.

George Jones, "If Drinking Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will"

Oh, the days when a man could wear his collar on the outside of his jacket and sing publicly about drunkeness and be applauded for it. You can't even get away with that at Dave's Stagecoach Inn (albeit, for good reason).

Oasis, "Cigarettes & Alcohol"

Yeah, it's a T-Rex ripoff, but that just makes this song easier for mom to remember on karaoke night.

Mac Lethal, "Pound that Beer"

"Oh my goodness who the hell is blowin' up my phone/This better be important don't you understand I'M DRINKING BEER!?" Yes and yes.

Alright, there are many other noteworthy drinking songs, but we'd be at this all day, and it's lunch beer time.
-- Jason Harper